


If You Don't Live forever

by AteNagi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Dying Katsuki Yuuri, Even the author, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is protective of Katsuki Yuuri, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied Relationships, Inspired by Music, Katsuki Yuuri Is a Victor Nikiforov Fan, Katsuki Yuuri's time is running out, Katsuki family is adorable, M/M, Makkachin is a male?!, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri Are Best Friends, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Sick Katsuki Yuuri, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Victor Nikiforov is a Katsuki Yuuri Fan, Victor won't let him, Yuri Plisetsky Is a Katsuki Yuuri Fan, everyone is depressed, is it Victor or Viktor?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AteNagi/pseuds/AteNagi
Summary: "Do you know what love is Mr. Nikiforv?""I like to belive that I do.""Then you should know what comes with it. Love's sorrow, love accompanied by sorrow. It's a wonderful feeling, being loved, but it is a dreadful feeling if you lose it. So you would rather experience pain as an accompaniment than to lose love altogether."Yuuri goes home earlier than he though he would after a life changing diagnosis. The life he thought we was supposed to live all crumbled down his feet. All he wanted was to be with his family, even if he didn't have the heart to tell them that he was dying.In comes the living legend Victor Nikiforov begs him to compose a song with him for his final worlds free skate.Along the way, Yuuri finds the courage and the reason to hold on longer. And Victor learns that Yuuri was the one he needed to be complete. But Yuuri's time is almost up. How can they reach their happy ending?No, they knew how. The question is: Will they reach their happy ending?Time is running short.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri - Relationship, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 20
Kudos: 59





	1. A storm on a calm night

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to this fandom so please be kind!

Deep inside, Yuuri always thought that he would die earlier than his family. He had all of these complications and his childhood was filled with many visits to different hospitals. But that didn’t stop him from doing what he loved. 

And there were three things that Yuuri loved more than anything in the world; his family, music and skating.

The latter two had always been his passion. And he could confidently say that those saved him from spiraling into depression. He refused to sit and let all of his complications bring him down, So what if his lungs, sight and hearing were weak? He could make do with what he has. 

Music found him as a child with nothing to do but stay in bed, and skating brought him freedom once he was able to stand on his own.

Violin was the first thing he was able to learn as a child. He heard the patient in the room next to his playing once, and in his curious state, he snuck a peak. It turns out, she was a cheerful and upbeat lady who was kind enough to teach him for free. She had an old violin which she gave to him with a huge smile on her face, and Yuuri beamed for the rest of the week, engrossed in playing the instrument. He absorbed the lessons like a sponge, and by the end of almost three weeks, he was able to play the basic chords. She would visit everyday with a warm bag of pastries and a song in her heart. Even on the times when he wasn’t admitted to the hospital, he still visited her and learned the violin. And when she was out of the hospital, they would often meet in his family inn.

But one day, the lady stopped visiting him in his room. In Yuuri’s young five-year-old mind, he could not understand why the kind lady next door stopped visiting his room every morning. She wasn’t in the hospital too when he tried to visit her once. She was just gone. He never knew what happened to her until her parents brought him the news and her violin. They thanked him for bringing light into her life, till her last breath. And that was the first time Yuuri was exposed to death, and the thought scared him.

When the kind lady was alive, she would often tell Yuuri to live his life the way that he wanted, before it was too late. She said that she wanted to try ballet when she was still younger, but she never really got into it. So he learnt it in her stead. And at six years old, Minako sensei said that he was good at it, despite his early complications. But Yuuri always felt like something was missing.

Until at seven years old, he found skating, and fell in love.

If there was one thing that he could be proud of was his persistence. In fact, his family would usually call him a ‘Genius of hard work’, to which he would quickly deny. However, his resilience would usually meet his lack of confidence. He loved music, and he also loved skating.

But he was no genius (to him at least), and he was not healthy by a long shot. But he had ambition and drive. So he simultaneously learned music and skating, and when he just hit nineteen, his hard work had paid off and he was already one of Japan’s best skaters. He would skate on and off seasons, alternating with skating and music competitions to help keeping the family business afloat when all the other onsens closed. Sometimes he wins, and most of the times he looses, but the thought of having a goal was exhilarating to him. To him, learning to play and skate was not enough, he wanted to have some purpose in learning the craft. That was the reason he competed.

“I’m sorry. You would probably have at least a year or so left to live. It’s not set in stone, but you need to prepare yourself. I know that you are probably in shock right now but...”

He may have toned out the doctor’s voice, but he made sure not to lose the smile he had and remained calm in front of the doctor. While it’s true that he thought he would die early, he didn’t mean confirming at as soon as twenty-three. He was too focused on living his life the way he wanted that he forgot his limits. He could never tell this to his parents. They would feel responsible when there was no one else to blame but himself. He was the only one to blame. He would always brush his parent’s concern about his health and always face life head on, pushing aside his problems, health and now his life. 

More than a month later, he came in sixth with his scores being the lowest in all of his years of skating, his beloved toy poodle vicchan running towards the hands of Kami, and just the general feeling of being judged, left out and forgotten. Add to injury when Victor thought he was a fan despite literally competing with him an hour ago. But maybe that was for the best. People would remember him as the person who flubbed his last year of skating and who came home a loser. People would forget him eventually. Chances are, no one would even know him when he eventually dies in a year. 

He was left a puking mess in the bathroom after his parent’s call. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his condition or because of his anxiety. He was too overwhelmed that he didn’t notice someone watching him with wide eyes by the door as he coughed up blood.

The journey home was the worst. His anxiety reached its peak when he was taking his luggage from the conveyor. He just remembered, he still hadn’t told his parents or anyone else that he was dying, earlier than expected. 

Because to be honest, he was used to thinking that he would eventually die that it was almost normal. But now that it was official, he didn’t know how to react. In fact, the thought has not sunk in before the moment that he saw himself riding the train to Hasetsu.

How should he act when they see him again? How will they react when they see him back after turning his back on the world? He had no idea how to break the news to them. Celestino was the only person who knew about his condition. Thankfully, the man was calm with the news, as he sat with Yuuri during that time. But as soon as they left the doctor’s office, Yuuri could feel his coach crack as he hugged his student for a whole minute and he cried when Yuuri tearfully thanked him for all those years he trained him. He just hopes that was not the last time he would see the man.

He knew that Phichit was suspicious of his sudden decision of retiring. Given that he didn’t give an official statement, it was all in the clues. Yuuri packed up and left the apartment, he took all the necessary documents he needed leaving nothing but a whole semesters of his final year in college. He knew that Yuuri didn’t plan on coming back. This was not the first time Yuuri fell, never this hard, but still not the first. And Yuuri’s sentimental goodbye did not help with his doubts. But the retiring skater did nothing to clear up the suspicion anyway. The following months just blurred altogether and he found himself coming home earlier than he expected.

So he came home. Minako, as well as more than a dozen posters of him plastered all around the train station greeted him. Yuuri was known to have binge ate whenever he felt extremely stressed and anxious, however, it was worse when he forgot to eat.

He was a mess, and he was well aware of that. But he would still try his darn best not to let anyone notice, at least for now.

“Yuuri! Welcome home!!! Look at you! You slimmed down a lot huh? What? Didn’t think of binge eating?” 

Instead of a sheepish smile or an enthusiastic denial Yuri gave her a defeated smile. He was wearing a face mask, but Minako could practically feel the sadness radiating from that smile. And if she saw those few tears flowing down from Yuuri’s face as he shyly greeted the few people who recognized him, she said nothing about it. Because Yuuri suddenly stops as they made way to the car, she stops as well, taking in the fact that Yuuri never once answered her questions nor talked to her since he arrived.

And as if he reads her mind, he squeaks a small greeting that relieved her more than it should. “I’m home, Minako-sensei.”

Minako didn’t teach Yuuri all those years without being able to somewhat read the boy. But instead of confronting him, she figured out that she would give him some space for now.

“We missed having you back brat.” She didn’t realize till later the first mistake, not as she held Yuuri in her arms as he hugged her tightly.

The next few days were a blur for Yuuri’s family. Because it was nearing the summer season and the inn was as busy as ever. And ever since they welcomed Yuuri back home with warm hugs. The skater fluttered between helping out at the inn, roaming mindlessly around Hasetsu to see what were the things that he missed and doing some carefree skating at the Ice Castle. It was nice to see Yuuri wind down after being stressed for a long time, his two losses and leaving Detroit must have been hard on him, they thought. Because there was no way that they didn’t notice him being less enthusiastic as usual. 

He may have been gone for a few years, but he was still the son of Katsuki Toshiya and Hiroko. It didn’t take long for them to crack their son open and let all of his anxiety rush forward like a flood. He was devastated, they could understand why. And he kept it all bolted in and tried to stay strong for them. But it wasn't his job to be strong. He was still their son, and they would do anything for him. They wished that Yuuri could see that they were willing to support him no matter what his decision might be, whether he continues skating or retires. They will support him. They had enough money and they barely touched Yuuri’s winnings over the years, in contrast to what he thought. But what they didn’t know was that they had barely chipped off the surface of the ice to see how hollow their son really is.

His reassuring smiles did not fool his sister. But she didn’t understand his world that much. So she never spoke to him about what he could have been withholding further, assuming that the rest of his problems were about either his music or his skating career and that they would not understand him even if her explained it to them, so he just didn’t. Little did she know that it was far from that.

Yuuri grew up not having much friends. Due to him going to the hospital often, not going to a regular school and him wanting nothing else than to practice music and skating related stuff, he was left with little to no social life. 

He only had his best friend Yuuko and his protector Nishigori-kun, who stuck to him every time they could. They hung around him at the rink and would be his audience whenever he would play. But alas, they were, for one, older than him and two, they went to a public school. 

And during the few times he saw himself having free time, he would notice that he would have a song in his head that he just couldn't wait to write down. There was no way he could have the patience go sit down and read a book, nor would he want to garden and kill so many innocent plants because he can't seem to grow anything but grass. So he wrote songs, and when he learned what you tube was, he would record on his laptop and upload it on the net. At first it was only so he wouldn't loose the songs he wrote if the computer broke down, but soon after, there were a few people who took notice of his works. They were not a lot, but there were some. And he couldn't be happier. 

Apparently, he also garnered the attention of a rather special viewer. 

Victor came in like a storm on a calm night. And it left Yuuri speechless and genuinely confused. 

“I want you to compose a song for my free skate.” He dramatically declared in all his naked glory when he saw him that night he was supposed to take a bath in the onsen after being slobbered by a huge poodle which he initially thought was his dead dog, but bigger. Of course his parents forgot to tell him that his skating idol came to their onsen, because of course they forgot the face of the man that was all over his bedroom. 

While it’s true that he managed to compose a few songs before and posted them on youtube. Oh wait, yeah he used his real name on the account. But even so, why did the skating champion want HIM to compose a song for HIS freeskate. This is Victor freaking Nikiforov! He is HIGH MAINTENANCE! He’s unreachable, He’s… He’s…

“I refuse” was his straight answer. What was he supposed to say? Yes? Then if it isn’t up to his standards then he would pay for it? No way! Absolutely NO WAY!

He was able to successfully evade the russian skater's attempts for three whole days before he was finally cornered by him while he was skating figures on the ice one afternoon.

“What do you want me to do for you to accept my offer? Money? A contract?” He didn't know why, but Victor's words offended him. 

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'm willing to pay anything if you make me a song that I could use for my free skate. Please!"

Yuuri could only stare at the man. Who would have known, that Victor Nikiforov had that in him. He wanted to know his reasons for choosing him to compose a song for him. Yuuri knew that Victor is aware of the consequences and possible disappointment. He had so many questions, but nothing came out of his mouth. 

And by pure instinct alone, he skated towards the man who was currently gripping the boards hard that Yuuri could see him vibrate. 

"I don't want to Mr. Nikiforov. I don't understand why you want ME to compose your music. You will just be disappointed."

"I won't!" The man exclaimed looking directly into his eyes. "Why will I be disappointed with the work of a genius?"

"I'm no genius Mr. Nikiforov. And Even if I were, there are countless other people who can---"

"Because you're the only one who I can trust!"

Yuuri was taken aback by the sudden confession. Trust was a strong word that no one could throw easily. And that made him more confused than before. 

"I'm going to retire after this season Yuuri. And I want someone who can tell my story with me. Please help me. I don't know who I can come to other than you."

There was no denying it now. And a few moments later he saw himself clutching his old violin with Victor sitting on Minako's piano expectantly. 

"Have fun the both of you!" Minako laughed as she exited the room, on her way outside to who knows where. She told them that they were free to use the piano for as long as they like while she went out. 

This left Yuuri with little to no support and an awkward air between the two of them. 

"Are you just going to stare at me while I try to figure out a melody? It's not that easy composing you know."

"I know that! I just want to see how you play? Ohh can you play my favorite song?"

"I thought you wanted me to compose a song for you?"

"I do but that can wait right? Please!"

Victor knew he was needy. He had always been. Growing up as a single child and under the spotlight he was never afraid to ask for anything he wanted. If they were fine they would give it, and if they didn't they won't. But with Yuuri, it's always somehow different.

"What is your favorite song anyway?"

"Liebesleid…" On that first word, Victor could see Yuuri tense up. "Love's Sorrow"

A laugh escaped Yuuri. "Such an obvious piece."

While it was true that Victor was not familiar with classical music as much as he wanted to, he still knew that this piece has a special place in his heart. 

"Do you know what love is Mr. Nikiforov?"

"I like to belive that I do."

"Then you should know what comes with it. Love's sorrow, love accompanied by sorrow. It's a wonderful feeling, being loved, but it is a dreadful feeling if you lose it. So you would rather experience pain as an accompaniment than to lose love altogether." Yuuri's hands traced the strings of the violin in his hand.

"Mr. Nikiforov do you love skating?"

Viktor stares into Yuuri's eyes, determined and sure. But as he gazed into the eyes of the musician, he could only see a sad look. Is it pain? Sorrow? Regret? 

"With all my heart. However…" He paused for a moment before continuing. 

"It could also suck my life away. Like the love I have for skating is draining my life a way as a form of rent. I have nothing but skating, it had broken and made me several times. And I can't seem to stray away from it."

Victor, albeit not looking towards the younger man's direction, knew that he was under his scrutinizing gaze. He felt that he was looking into his soul, finding an answer no one but him knew the question to. For a few seconds, it was uncomfortable. 

After what seemed like forever, Yuuri seemed satisfied with the man's answer and began to position the violin comfortably. He took a deep breath in and started playing. 

Victor thought back to a story about the song. A man finds himself living in a hollow life in this world. Existing, but never living. He continued on living life, discovering things he enjoyed and discarding them after he grew tired. 

Then he found something or rather, someone. A woman had brought him joy unlike any other thing he discovered. It was love. 

But that moment of love didn't last forever, for the woman who gave him love disappeared. He first felt love, and low he felt loneliness, and it started to crush him from the inside. Slowly, and slowly, killing him. 

The woman found him in his pit of despair and lifted him up once again with her love. But there was one thing the man forgot to consider. The woman who brought him love, also brought pain with her. 

Not understanding it, this time, the man wanted the pain to go away. He begged her day by day to relieve him of the pain. So one day, the woman left and brought love with her. And the man was left an empty shell once again. 

This story was told by the man in front of him who stopped playing the piece. 

"Why did you stop?" Victor asked when Yuuri still didn't look his way after playing. 

"That was where the story ended. I skated to this piece for my free skate during my senior debut. And that was where I ended the story. You know that too right?"

That was why Yuuri can't look at him in the face. He knew that Victor had watched the performance. "And I was supposed to play it during a competition last year, but I wasn't able to play."

"Why?"

"Let's just say, love is painful."

Victor didn't have the hear to ask more about it when Yuuri excuse himself to the bathroom. He was the one who can't look at Yuuri this time. That's why he decided that he should make the other look at him instead. 

Not many knew about it, but, music was also language that Victor can speak. And he didn't speak it often. 

So Victor spoke. His hands softly caressing the keys as he played. The songs started silently, like a whisper, a childish glee accompanied by vigor and curiosity, then it flowed. 

Yuuri just came out of the bathroom to see Victor engrossed in playing the piano with passion he had only seen on him when he is on the ice. 

This wasn't Victor the Russian Ice Prince. He was just simply, Victor. No masks, no made up persona. This is a story of who he is. 

Then the narrative continued, the child who was fueled by his passion and curiosity was met by a raging storm. The child struggled to keep himself steady at first, then eventually he mastered the storm, creating a perfect melody. But then it came to a point where the music was just repetitive. It was beautiful, and powerful, but now it was all the same. The notes matured, getting lower and lower as the child struggled with the weight of the storm, until it came to a crashing halt. 

Victor took his hands off the piano. Finally, Yuuri was looking his way again. 

6 months left


	2. If I'm being honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun was high into the sky against the horizon, but the wind was crisp and clear that day. Once Nishigori had gone, the Serenity between them had come back. Yuuri had yet to say a word, but Victor didn't mind it the least. 
> 
> Yuuri was also looking at the ocean over the bridge with a slightly more peaceful look on his face. 
> 
> "The view is beautiful. Isn't it?"
> 
> "Hey Victor. Thanks for being with me today. I really appreciate it."
> 
> Victor couldn't stop the huge smile on his face even if he wanted to. "You're welcome Yuuri! I promise to be there for you when you need me!"
> 
> "I'll be in your care."
> 
> He didn't know what the future ahead held. But he knew that he would treasure every minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could just imagine Victor being observant and being a skater, it became instinct to him to look at a person's feet first. 
> 
> So yeah, the story picks up after the 2012 Sochi finals. Victor is 27 while Yuuri is 23 and in his final year of college. He didn't participate during Nationals (for some reasons I will explain later. Technically, he still considers his absence a loss though.) and he didn't graduate. I didn't put up his course because I wanted to leave that for interpretation, but if I were to guess, maybe he would take up either music, psychology (focusing on sports psychology) or Hotel management.)

Almost two weeks had passed since they started composing. They had taken to alternate having Victor practice his skating, composing music and taking a stroll around Hasetsu whenever they can. There are also days when Victor tagged along with the family whenever they went to the market while Yuuri ran the Onsen with his sister. This had been Victor's first interaction with ANY market, opting to shop at supermarkets or grocery stores. Who knew you could make a bargain and save money in a market. While he didn't lack financially, he still thought bargaining was fun, not that he was any use when it comes to it though. 

There was a problem with his stay though, Victor could not function without Yuuri or any of the Katsuki's (mostly Yuuri though) being beside him all the time. The man stuck to the Yuuri like glue and followed him like a lost puppy. Even Makkachin was more independent than his owner. But Yuuri understands where he is coming from. Victor grew up being surrounded by the ice. He had no idea what Victor’s Private life was like, but he could imagine how culture shocked Victor is at the moment. Truth is, Yuuri was proud of the way that he was taking this all in. Maybe all that traveling was beneficial to him as well. 

Within the three weeks, they would alternate between the rink, his room ("Wait you have a keyboard? So why did we have to go to Minako's before?" "Uuhmm… Aesthetic?" "Oh Yuuri I won't judge the state of your room whatever state it is! Wait are you hiding something from me?" "Then would you like me to go to your room spontaneously?" "Touche.") and anywhere else. 

In rare times, they would go to the beach or the waterfalls to have a little fun and take numerous pictures, which Victor would post on his Instagram along with the hashtag #livinglife. He wouldn't admit it yet, but he stole some pictures of Yuuri when he wasn't looking. That face of his that looked so deep in thought was not out of place with the ethereal landscapes of Japan. To Victor, he looked like Prince, or someone who was part of the scenery. He was Victor's view. 

"Here's your dinner, both of you. I hope you like Katsudon."

Victor's eyes shone as Hiroko placed the bowl in front of them.

"How about you kaa-san?" Yuuri asked in Japanese not removing his gaze at his favorite dish. Victor smiled fondly at the childish display. Yuuri had this far look in his eyes recently and he couldn't help but notice it. And he was glad that his parents took notice of it and gave him something that could lift his spirits up. 

The love of a parent has always been a foreign concept to Victor as he grew up with a significant lack of parental figures. He rejected the negative thoughts as soon as they came up in his mind and let himself be happy to be in the presence of such a loving family. The longingness in his heart remained as he continued to watch the mother and son duo speak in rapid Japanese, however. 

"Missis Katsuki what's Katsudon?" Was his curious question. 

"Oh it's just fried breaded pork on rice with a few toppings. But, it's Yuuri's favorite. He's always begging for it since he was a child and he still begs for it after every competition he has!" She enthusiastically explains in front of an attentive Viktor and a blushing Yuuri. 

"Kaa-saaaaan! You're making me sound like a kid!" He whined in their mother tongue so that Victor couldn't understand. It was too bad that the whining tone was universal and the Russian skater understood it anyway. 

"But, Yuuri is still my child isn't he? No matter how old you become you would always be my baby! Well, maybe I'll treat you like an adult when you have a baby of your own? Haha just kidding!"

Yuuri's mother laughed walking away. Unbeknownst to her, her son grew silent after her final statement. Viktor, unfortunately, also did not pick up on his shift of mood as he was focused on gobbling up his food while it was hot.

"VKUSNO! YUURI! THIS IS SO GOOD!" He exclaimed shoving a huge piece of pork in his mouth. Screw the calories this is heaven! 

“Oh right. Nationals are coming around the corner right?” Victor offhandedly commented with food in his mouth. This caught the attention of his sister who was passing by their table on her way to the counter. 

She watched his back as he put down his bowl and chopsticks. “Hmm? What brought this up all of a sudden.”

“It’s been weeks since we started the song, but I haven’t heard you mention anything about it and I was curious.”

The truth was, Victor had heard some online buzz that he had retired earlier that year. But there was no official statement that came from the man himself and he wanted to confirm it. He watched the Japanese skater’s last routine and noticed some unsettling things during his performance which lead to his falls.

“To tell you the truth, I haven’t thought about it. But I did quit from Celestino’s rink recently. I think I just want some peace for now.”

Victor took a bite out of his delicious bowl of Katsudon. Huh? How did it become cold so fast?

“Oh~ So you’re taking a break? How about music competitions?”

“I stopped competing in music competitions since 2010. I decided to give my full attention to figure skating when I got verified for the olympics. I didn’t reach the podium on my debut though.”

“So two years? But you managed to get into the top six for your second one right? That’s amazing.”

For some reason, Victor regretted saying that. He regretted it a lot. And his Katsudon grew colder as he stopped eating. 

“I think I’m full now. We’ll be going to the rink to test out the music so far Victor. You can call coach Yakov and tell him that. Good night.”

Yuuri left the room, and everyone in it with a cold shiver running down their spines. Was he mad? Did Victor say too much? Oh no. What if he hated him now? But before Victor’s thoughts could spiral down to a darker path, he felt Yuuri’s sister place a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t think about it too much. He’s just upset. If he was mad, he would have yelled at you. And to be honest you would have deserved it hahaha” She said to Victor with a smile. But that did nothing to calm down his nerves. 

Because it was true. He did deserve it. Victor knew almost nothing about reading other's emotions. He was still learning, and he was afraid it would be too late for him to learn. 

He felt the hand travel to the top of his head and ruffled his well kept hair. "Like I said, don't mind it. Yuuri has always been one of the harder ones to read. He had a pretty bad childhood to be honest. And I feel that there is something that he doesn't like to tell us. Mom and dad are just too supportive of him to notice these things that sometimes it's frustrating you know? I know they mean well. But they should know when to confront him instead of always waiting for him to open up. Not that I'm doing anything anyway. I'm just as useless."

Victor takes a glance upwards at the older female who looked at least five years older than her. (She isn't) She had the presence of a gangster and a harcore woman. His first impression of her was that of fear and intimidation. But at that moment, the love for her brother shone through her rough exterior. He was taken aback by the pure and unfiltered affection and concern she has for her brother. It was unfamiliar. 

"Come on, I'll show you something."

Victor could not do anything else but nod his head. The Katsudon sat on the table, forgotten. 

Makkachin was done with her own dinner when Yuuri found her sitting on the floor next to the living room heater. She must have been cold in Victor's room. He called out for the huge poodle and ushered her to her master's room. He was surprised to see that the door was closed and Victor was not in there by now. He had gone for a short walk in their garden before meeting with Makka to clear his mind. He was sure to have been gone for a solid twenty minutes. And Victor usually goes straight to his room after dinner. After making sure that no one was inside after knocking, he searched for the keys which were with his father. 

When he got back, he realized something. In the three weeks that Victor had been there, but this was the first time that he had ever gone in the room, like really go in instead of waiting for Victor outside the door or ushering Makkachin when Victor was inside. Victor had come barging into his room before, so why didn't he do the same? 

He abandoned those thoughts as he turned on the lights and heater for Makkachin, who came barrelling and barking into the room. 

He took a good look around. It was surprisingly bare for such an extravagant male that his suitcases stood out more like a sore thumb. As Victor didn't plan on staying for a long time, they lent him the necessities he would need despite his insistence about buying them on his own. Yuuri glanced at the old coffee table that was loaned to Victor. 

It was full of scratches from their childhood that his parents placed a tablecloth over it. He could see that cloth neatly folded beside the table. His sister's old desk lamp that Victor laughed at because it looked like a deformed Panda was on top of an old yet functioning drawer. The only thing new were the silver and gold curtains that contrasted the theme of the whole room. 

But what stood out the most was his old desk at the side of the room, the one which was previously his before he bought a new one with more drawers. It was placed beside the bed which made him think that they should have at least provided him with a bedside table or cabinet. On top of it was a picture frame which Yuuri could not clearly see what was in it. 

"Oh I was about to wonder how did Makka open the lights." Victor came out from behind him. 

"Sorry. I saw him by the heater and thought of bringing him here. He might be sleepy."

"You don't need to apologize Yuuri! Thank you for bringing Makka in. But how did you know Makka might be sleepy?"

"Well." Yuuri started, scratching the back of his head. "I had a poodle who is quite similar to Makkachin before. I just thought she might want to sleep."

Victor nodded at his explanation, a placid look on his face. "That was nice of you Yuuri. Thank you."

"No problem. I'll get going then. Good night." As Yuuri exited the room, he didn't realize that Victor didn't ask where his dog was, nor did he need to explain. 

The next day after breakfast, Victor was getting ready for another day at the rink. Yuuko usually opens at 10 and she would let him stay in until then and for free. But anymore than that she and he would be paying double. Victor laughed at her playful statement, feeling happy with the warm gesture. 

"Viktor, are you awake?" The Russian man heard a knock and a timid voice at the door as he was putting on some socks. 

"Yuuri?" A soft yes affirmed his suspicion. He remembers the man enter his room the previous night. Yuuri must have known that Makkachin was most comfortable by the heater in his room where Victor's scent is most powerful to the poodle. And he was kind enough to bring Makka inside but he wasn't sure why did he linger around the room. 

Nevertheless, he asked the man fo come in. "Good morning! Thanks for bringing Makka in last night." He greeted Yuuri as he came in. 

"Ah. No problem. Do you have plans this morning?"

"Not at all? I'm all yours if you need me!"

Victor, the idiot, was oblivious to the other's huge blush at the loose statement. 

"Oh. U-uhmm… Okaa-san asked me to buy something at the market. Maybe you want to come with me?"

With much restraint, Victor bit back a 'Like a date?' comment as not to scare the timid man. He noticed that there was already an awkward air around then despite never being apart of each other for days now. It wasn't as awkward as it had been at the start, and that made Victor more hopeful that he would 

Wait. He could use this time to be closer to Yuuri. This is perfect. Never had he answered "Yes!" as enthusiastically as he did. His routine can wait. 

"Hey Yuuri do you mind if Makkachin comes with us?"

There was one thing that Viktor was sure about the mysterious Yuuri, something big had happened to him, and no one knew what it was. Victor knew that the man didn’t participate during last year’s Nationals and he did not qualify for the four continents championships. 

Victor's life has revolved all around the ice. Everything he knew, loved and learned is related to his beloved sport. And he barely involved himself with things that didn't link to the ice. Even learning about Yuuri had been because of it. The Japanese man had been nobody but a fleeting glance till the day he saw that video. But that wasn't what drew him in. 

Yuuri was someone Victor wanted to reach out. He wanted to know everything about him, his life, his hobbies and passion. He wanted Yuuri to be his friend. 

Usually, Victor hesitated with making connections with people who could potentially just create relationships with him to exploit the benefits being associated with himself. He was a top skater with modeling and business partnerships with companies like Channel and LV. He could have got all the luxuries he wanted in life, but he never entertained that idea. 

Yuuri and his family were different, totally different from the life he grew up with. And he likes this kind of life, so much. From what he saw, between their onsen, restaurant and small sake and ramune business, not to mention Yuuri's music and skating competition winnings (which they didn't touch even if Yuuri thought that they used it for his coaching fees) they were well off. But they actively avoided using their earnings. He noticed the tattered socks on their feet and the obviously well worn clothes. The main house barely had any decorations aside from the plants and their numerous family photos. 

He respected them, especially Yuuri. He was a intricate snowflake that fell on a clear winter day. His beauty shines through when seen under a magnified sight, however, that beauty could not be preserved, doomed only to be temporary. 

"All of these? Are you sure? Thank you but it's too much!" Yuuri flusteredly thanked the pastry story owner for the free donuts he received when they passed on their way to the fish section of the market. Or was it the vegetable section? 

"Come on Yuuri! Mrs. Sato is kind enough to give this to us. Right Mrs. Sato? Thank you so much!" Victor intervened, thanking the baker in English, which she thankfully understood. Makkachin, who was beside Yuuri like a guard dog, barked in agreement. "See? Even Makka agrees!"

"Oh what handsome and good man you are. Get donuts. I hope you like." She answered back in broken English.

"You flatter me too much Yuuri is also handsome right? But thank you so much."

"Yes of course Katsu-chan is. Please take care of our Katsu-chan!" She told Victor before talking in Japanese. "You have such a handsome boyfriend Katsu-chan! Thanks again for your help with hauling the fruits last week! Take care now!" 

"He's not my boyfriend!" Yuuri denied blushing profusely, shielding his face with one hand, to which Victor thought was completely adorable. 

They ended up buying a few things but taking home a lot. Almost every shop that that they passed by had something to give Yuuri. Through Victor's limited knowledge of Japanese he could understand basic things like "Arigato", "omedeto", "ki o tsukete" and whatever "Ikemen" means. The thing is, Yuuri is famous in Hasetsu. And everyone loves him. They always seems to have something nice to say about Yuuri and would pass him some food or invitation to take something from their shop for free. 

From what he heard from Mari, he was a helpful person since childhood and always talked happily about his hometown to his competitors and interviews which sparked some interest in this small town. To them, Yuuri is an angel to all he met and a warrior who fought to do what he loves. He had their admiration and respect. And she wanted him to see it for himself someday. 

Maybe that was why Hiroko asked him to pick up sesame seeds and mushrooms from the market. She didn't really need them, she just wanted her son to expose himself with the love of other people towards him. He had come to being quite familiar with the market are by now, and this was the liveliest he has seen them in a two weeks. 

Unfortunately… 

"Please Nagahama-san! It's really nothing you don't have to thank me for mentioning that you make great ramen! That's all you. Don't sell yourself short."

If Victor understood what he said, he would have wished that Yuuri was the one who didn't sell himself short. But the fidgety body language was enough to make him sad for Yuuri. 

On their way back to the onsen, Victor could not help but stop and ask Yuuri about something. "Hey Yuuri! I saw this huge building on our way here. What was that a temple? Or is it a castle? Please let it be a castle."

Victor's contagious enthusiasm made Yuuri, who previously had a serious look on his face, crack a smile. "Oh you mean Hasetsu castle? What about it?"

Victor's eyes shone in glee as Makkachin barked beside him. "Can we go there? Please please. Pleaaaaasee!" He begged like a child. 

"Sure, we can go there after we drop off all this stuff." Yuuri smiled at the man and dog duo. A few seconds later though, his face scrunched up, confused. "Wait didn't you say that you have plans on training today? Wouldn't Mr. Yakov blow a fuse?"

"He will, but he isn't here to do it personally now is he? Come on, at least have faith in a world champion."

"Trust me, all I have for you is faith."

Hasetsu castle is beautiful. He can't go near it, but the Cherry Blossoms that were in full bloom in the background surrounding a ninja caslte? He doesn't need to explain anything. 

"Yuuri let's take a photo!" 

"Don't you want me to take a pic of you and Makka instead?"

"No! I want you in the picture! Come on! Ano… Excuse me sir! Sashin, Picture can you take a picture of us? Please?" 

Victor was like a ray of sunshine, warm, bright and blinding. He was everything Yuuri wanted to be. He was an enigma that slowly unfolds itself right before his very eyes. On the ice, he was such a different person that he could barely believe just how different it is. On the Ice, Victor is an immovable mountain, standing tall, proud and elegant. He moved with the grace of a swan unfolding its wings and the beauty of a crane taking flight. 

All that Yuuri knew right now, he didn't belong anywhere near him. 

Moments later, they saw themselves enjoying the view of the horizon, the rest of Hasetsu extending before them as they sat on a bench under the falling petals of the cherry blossom trees. 

It was a breath-taking moment, but that moment was also laced with a tense atmosphere that cut through the beauty of it like a knife. 

Surprisingly, Yuuri started the conversation. "I'm surprised no one stopped us at the market to take your picture. Haven't you been to the market with my parents recently? How are you not mobbed by fans at this point?"

"It's no surprise actually. After all, in this small town, the only figure skater they know is you. I kind of didn't announce my arrival here in Japan. And a lot of people say that I look different on and off camera. Maybe it's the hair?"

Yuuri knew it wasn't. Everyone knew that he was obsessed with the Russian skater. They must have known what he looks like. Foreigners stand out a LOT in Japan. There were many people who stared at Victor though. They were so many that it made Yuuri really fidgety and anxious. He got anxious just by remembering it. As if he was able to sense it Makkachin rubbed his face against his knee. 

Viktor took a concerned glance at the darker haired male beside him who was gently petting his dog. Unbeknownst to a lot of people, when he brought Makkachin home twelve years ago, it was for the purpose of him being an anxiety dog. Makka was always beside him whenever he was off the ice, whenever his anxiety was at peak and confidence at low. The dog loved to nuzzle his nose whenever Victor felt particularly depressed or low. 

Makka, bless that dog, took to Yuuri faster than he expected. The dog had no problem sleeping on Yuuri's bed sometimes and he would follow the man around the onsen whenever he was away from Victor. He for a fact knew that it wasn't because of the treats that Yuuri sneaked for the dog when he thought they weren't looking, it was because Yuuri treated the dog with such gentle affection that was similar to Victor's own. Victor was touchy-feely, Makka is a huge stuff toy and Yuuri is filled with jittery emotions and depression. He could never forget the day he caught Yuuri hugging Makka while crying, whispering a name he could not recognize. 

He can't let Makka be the only one who can comfort him, not after all Yuuri had done for him. That was one of the reasons he was in Japan after all. No matter how childish and naive it may seem, Victor wanted to show that he was there for Yuuri. 

Just as he was about to comfort him though, he saw that Yuuri was already shedding silent tears, which he himself may now have noticed. 

He wanted to either address the tears or look away and give him privacy. But neither would be the right thing to do. 

"Hey, Yuuri, I wanted to thank you again for easily accepting my selfish request and letting me stay here. This had been the best almost three weeks of my life so far."

He could feel blood rushing to his head, his heart pounded fast and his hands suddenly became sweaty. Was he nervous? Why is he nervous? He didn't know that he could get nervous this fast. He bit back a stammer and brought out his best smile. 

"But I don't want to be the only one smiling right now. I noticed that you seem to be going through something. Mari voiced her concern once or twice to me some time ago. And I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you whenever you need me. You had done so much for me and I want to also do something for you. I-I can be your friend, a shoulder to cry on, even a lover if you want me to be. Just tell me what do you want, I'll be it for you."

If Yuuri refused to talk about his feelings for the past week, he didn't hesitate at all right now. 

"What no! I don't- I don't need you… I mean, I don't need you to be anyone else, not for my sake, not for the sake of anyone else. Victor being Victor is fine! It would be perfect. That's why, you should just be you. And… Thank you for being concerned about me. I'm… I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried all of you." Yuri looked down at his feet. Huh? When had he started to stand up? Oh no, he had an outburst right in front of Victor freaking Nikiforov! He must have sounded stupid. What did he say? What did he do! 

But just as he started digging into his self depreciation and anxiety pit, he felt two hands wrap around his body. He felt his cheeks touch the soft fabric of Victor's shirt and smell the expensive cologne he was using. It wasn't strong as he thought it would be. It wasn't flowery like what his sister used, but it calmed him down just as effective, perhaps even more. He melted into the pine scented embrace, unconsciously burying his face into his chest. 

"You're right. We're worried about you. But it's because we care. I want you to trust me Yuuri. I care about you, not just because you answered my selfish request, but because you had been nothing but kind to me. I want to be closer to you Yuuri, the me who cares about you. Will you let me?"

The soft 'yes' from the shorter male and the hesitant return of the hug was all the confirmation he needed. 

The walk back to the onsen was filled with silence, but Victor thought it wasn't awkward like before. No, this silence had been washed with a sense of acceptance and contentment. He was proud when he saw a happier Yuuri wave back at Nishigori on his way to the ice castle when he passed them by the bridge. He apologized when it was his turn to be asked why didn't he turn up that morning and will he be going later that evening. 

Shoot. He didn't tell Yuuri that he planed on going to the ice rink that morning. He's going to feel bad about it again. But Yuuri had an unreadable expression on his face. 

Victor only calmed himself down when he saw Yuuri's eyebrow scrunch in confusion and pout formed on his lips. 

"It's my fault, hahaha, I wasn't is the mood this morning I suppose. And I knew that I had more important things to do today."

Nishigori was skeptical, but as soon as he saw that Victor was looking directly at Yuuri, who sported a small smile on his rather relaxed, previously tense, face, he understood. "Alright. I'll leave you the spare keys just in case you want to skate this evening. I'm charging you extra though!"

"Haha that's fair. Thanks Nishigori!"

The sun was high into the sky against the horizon, but the wind was crisp and clear that day. Once Nishigori had gone, the Serenity between them had come back. Yuuri had yet to say a word, but Victor didn't mind it the least. 

Yuuri was also looking at the ocean over the bridge with a slightly more peaceful look on his face. 

"The view is beautiful. Isn't it?"

"Hey Victor. Thanks for being with me today. I really appreciate it."

Victor couldn't stop the huge smile on his face even if he wanted to. "You're welcome Yuuri! I promise to be there for you when you need me!"

"I'll be in your care."

He didn't know what the future ahead held. But he knew that he would treasure every minute of it. 

5 months and two weeks left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read this if you are interested in breakdowns!
> 
> I don't know if someone pointed this out already, but I just can't help but realize the significance of their talk at the beach is to the plot. When they spoke at the beach, it seemed to me like they were looking straight at their future, a future with endless possibilities. Here in this fic, I had them talk under a blooming cherry blossom tree, beautiful, but temporary. 
> 
> I also think the bridge is very significant, Viktor said goodbye to Yakov on a bridge at night, the start of his journey to Japan. Yurio yelled at Viktor on a bridge as soon as he came to Japan, start of Yurio's journey with the two. Yuuri freaked out running on his first day of training with Victor. Yurio gave pirozhki... oh wait that was a sidewalk... anyway! Yuuri and Yurio were waiting for Victor on a bridge at the end of the anime, which is the start of their life togather. Bridges are a symbol of beginnings in the anime, and also here.
> 
> The chapter title is the song that inspired this chapter.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljRAR8LXo1k
> 
> next chapter... enter Yuri Plisetsky 
> 
> I don't edit shit, sorry, I'm too sleepy.


	3. Early but too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I made such a shit chapter last time. I am totally making up for it. I've been sick, busy and sick of being busy! I might as well be strapped to my bed at this point! Recurring fevers are such a P A I N. 
> 
> I just rewatched the anime again and I realized how much injustice I've been giving. Ughh... Also, at this point I'm too dizzy what timeline I'm following so please bear with me. Or better yet... PLEASE SEND HELP! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter, I know I enjoyed writing this.

In contrast to her daughter’s belief, Hiroko is actually trying her best not to lash out at her son and demand him what is wrong. Because to be honest, it is just so hard to understand her own son that it makes her feel useless. She knew that she was not enough as a mother. She had made too many mistakes and lacked too much. So she just supports Yuuri with everything that he does, because she is genuinely proud and supportive of him. But that does not mean that she doesn’t care. She does, she really does, but she doesn't know how to act on her concern like Toshiya does. And toshiya says that they should wait for Yuuri to open up. They have been waiting for more than a month now, and they still can’t figure out what is wrong. 

Yuuri thinks that he is good with keeping things a secret, it could not be further from the truth and it makes her anxious and concerned. Especially given what happened in the past. But in spite of her frustration, she offers her son the benefit of the doubt. After all, she is blessed with the kindest son she could ever have.

She knocked gently before entering his room, glad that it wasn’t locked. Yuuri had passed out on top of his sheets, glasses still hanging on his face and phone still clutched in his hand. She picked up Yuuri's shirt and sweatpants that were lying in a mess on the floor and tucked them in her hands before dumping it with the rest of his laundry. 

She stared at her son’s sleeping face which she had not seen in almost five years. Last she had seen him sleep like this was when they first brought her fifteen year old son to america to train. He was so big now, standing more than a foot taller than her and starting to look like an adult. But he was still every inch his mother’s baby. How she wished that he could have stayed like that for a bit longer. But he’s an adult now, making his own choices and doing the things he wants for himself. 

All she could do is watch him grow. She just hopes that it won’t be farther from her. 

Sometimes she’s jealous of how Toshiya could handle their son. Maybe it was because they were both male and had almost the same attitude towards their passions? All she knows is that Yuuri has her eyes. Her husband has mentioned it a lot of times now, their eyes both sparkle like diamonds exposed to light whenever they see something they like according to him.

“Yuuri… Yuuri wake up, breakfast is ready.” She whispered softly into his ear.

The skater groaned as he turned towards his mother, curling towards the direction of her warmth. “Hmm… five more minutes kaa-san.”

“Yuuri, you need to wake up now or you’ll miss your morning meds. And didn’t you say you were supposed to help Yuuko with her skating class today?”

“Morning meds at eight, skating at nine. What time is it?”

Hiroko glanced at his silver digital clock near the small cactus pot. 7:15 it was still early. “Alright, I’ll wake you up later.” But Yuuri didn’t answer, fast asleep once again. 

She sighed as she removed his glasses and placed them in his usual spot and charged the phone that was previously in his hands. The covers were now enough for her to pull and drape over her son, curled up to his side where she previously was. She could not help but run a gentle hand through his hair and place a kiss on his head.

It was still early, but she hopes it was not too late.

…..

  
  
  
  
  
  


“The summer festival?” Victor asked the adorable Japanese mother who was in the process of hanging lanterns and weaved plastic ropes to resemble fishnets around the entrance of the onsen. After her unsuccessful attempt at waking up her son, she decided to decorae around the onsen for the upcoming festival that week.

“Yes, the Sen’in festival, it's a summer festival ethnic to Hasetsu. It's a festival that celebrates the first settlers who came to Hasetsu by boat, and uhmm… Toshiya how did the story go?”

The older male put down the box that contained the rest of the decorations and placed a hand under his chin, contemplating on the continuation of the story. Apart from owning a family inn, Toshiya had been known to have a knack for history, which had proven to be useful for Yuuri and Mari with their school homework. The information that he garnered from reading in his spare time and lazy afternoons at the inn was gladly shared by him at every given opportunity. 

“Hmm… The first settlers, I don’t think it was... oh now I remember!” His face lit up as he enthusiastically relayed the story. 

Victor listened in interest. Despite the broken English the man had, he was fully engaged in the story, relating to it as the story progressed. 

It was the folktale of the most talented fisherman in search of a woman that he fell in love with in the summer of his hometown.  _ He had only briefly been with her, but she was able to captivate him with her kindness and grace. The gentle woman had turned out to be a benevolent sea spirit who he found after a storm. Turns out the spirit was battling a King crab who was supposed to crush his village. He took care of the spirit who lived in his village and brought an abundance of fish to the town. In return, the villagers had been kind to her, bringing her food and dressing her in the finest clothes made from the best tailors in the village.  _

_ But not everyone had been kind to her as she did to them. One night, the spirit was captured by ruffians who wanted to sell her to merchants who wished to present her to the Land's daimo. The fisherman almost was not able to save her if it were not for her mother.  _

_ The fisherman had met the mother of the spirit, a sea goddess, and she explained to him that the spirit had always been great in battle, but her heart softened when she first saw the brave fisherman who was caught in a storm one time. The goddess blamed the fisherman for her weakness at first, and they fought on one of the darkest nights in Japan. But when she saw how happy her daughter was with the man and how he was willing to risk his life over and over again for her daughter, she blessed their relationship and eventually, their marriage.  _

_ After the wedding the fisherman asked the goddess if could take her somewhere safe, to which she approved.  _

_ When they reached a different island, however, the spirit had been sad from parting from the village that she learned to love, and it hurt the fisherman to see the love of his life in that state. He remembered the nights when she would mention a shining fish in the sea that looked like the moon rode on its back and it's scales reflected the color gold and it could only be seen at night when the full moon was at its peak.  _

_ The man set on to find this legendary fish on the next full moon in hopes to bring joy to the spirit. However, what he never expected was a storm that would once again sweep the boat and the fisherman.  _

_ Months have passed, and the once uninhabited island has become a fishing village due to the abundance of fish that the spirit caused. The spirit had become more and more depressed as time passed which caused the fish to dwindle as she grew weaker and weaker by herself. The new inhabitants did not associate the event to the kind widower who lived in the small hut next to the sea, but they noticed that when a man came home to the woman with nothing but a single squid and sea urchin the fish around the island began to multiply.  _

Victor was so engrossed with the story that he did not notice that the husband and wife were done decorating by the time Toshiya had finished the story, and that he was able to help them too. 

Victor looked at Toshiya with fascination and child-like wonder in his eyes that he can’t help but thinking that it was adorable. He remembered how yuuri had looked the same when he first told that story to him.

"Wooow! That was such an interesting story Mr. Toshiya, thank you for sharing it with me."

"Nah it was nothing. By the way did you see Yuuri this morning? I haven't seen him since last night's dinner."

Before Victor could answer that he hadn’t, Hiroko answered in Japanese, twiddling her thumbs with pressed hands. "I tried to wake him up earlier, he was still sleepy when I talked to him. But he told me that his meds are at nine and rink at eight, oh wait it’s the other way around. Meds at eight and rink at nine. He must have been awake late again last night."

Toshiya did not answer, opting just to nod his head and pick up the rest of the unused decorations. While Victor was left to carry the ladder, wondering what the couple spoke about in Japanese. Was there something wrong with Yuuri?

  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  


The next time Victor saw Yuuri was when he entered the ice castle to bring lunch for Yuuri. A group of childish laughter and cheers greeted the skater as he entered the rink lockers from the other room.

“Did Yuuko have skating lessons today? Are you sure I can have the rink to myself this afternoon?” The Russian asked the huge Japanese who handed him his skates as he put his training bag in the locker.

Nishigori Takeshi nodded with a smile. “They’ve been practicing since this morning. Yuuri was kind enough to help Yuuko every now and then to coach the children. Before you came to Japan, this had been the only place he’s been to aside from the onsen. At least he goes sightseeing now.”

Victor nodded, standing up on his laced skates and walked to the rink, Takeshi right behind him. On the ice, the cheers of the children increased, clapping at the other skater who was in the middle of a flawless ina bauer. Yuuri skated with a huge smile on his face, probably the biggest he has seen on the man since he arrived.

“Yuuri’s in love with everything that comes with skating. When we were children and he still wasn’t allowed to skate, he would recite skating positions and Olympic records to me ans Yuuko. He would watch skating videos and would explain to us how amazing each routine is. He never criticized a routine, only singing high praises to skaters all around the world, especially you. He really idolized you, you know.

There was this one time where he interpreted one of your junior skates into a story. Something about a bird being captured and frees himself before flying into a storm. Something like that. But isn’t that too vague a story to represent in skating? To be honest, I’ve always pegged you to be a surprise artistry kind of guy. And it really is beautiful every time, I gotta give you that.”

Victor gave a shy laugh at the accusation. Victor is used to people tell him that he is a great skater. He is used to them singing praises and worming up to him. He is used to his coach yelling the opposite. He isn’t a storyteller as far as skating goes, Takeshi had been right, he was more a surprises kind of guy. And one of the few times he wanted to put a story in his skate, someone was able to interpret his moves into the exact story he wanted to tell. Victor smiled at the thought of a young Yuuri interpreting his skate, jumping enthusiastically with a spark in his eyes. It must have been such a sight to see.

Back on the ice the kids had somehow convinced Yuuri to do an Illusion spin who was happy to do it, panting a little as he finished.

“You brought him his lunch?’ Takeshi asked to which Victor nodded. “Great. You can get on the ice any time. But can you make sure he finished his lunch? I think he’s getting thinner. Thanks.”

“No problem.” He replied to the other, moving towards the rest of the skaters.

“Konichiwa!” He greeted in a heavily Russian accented tone. “Can I borrow Mr.Yuuri for a bit. I brought him sustenance.” Victor flashed his heart-shaped smile lifting the bento with both hands like an offering to a God.

Yuuko placed a hand to her mouth. “I almost forgot! Why didn’t you say anything Yuuri!”

“It’s not a big deal Yuuko. I kind of lost track of time too.” Yuuri scratched his head, much to Yuuko’s disapproving gaze. 

“Mou Yuuri.” She huffed before turning to the children with a smile. “Alright, it’s almost noon anyway. Time to go home kids! Say bye-bye to Katsuki-sensei.”

A chorus of awws could only hint Victor that Yuuko must have dismissed her students a little too early to their liking. The group of seven children bid farewell to their teachers before adorably skating towards the exit where he opened the door for them with a smile on his face. Their teachers guiding them in case someone topples. Loud chatters filled his ears as the gold medalist. 

"Bye-bye Katsuki sensei! You were awesome!"

"I can't wait to be able to skate like that one day!"

"One day I'm gonna get a medal like sensei and be on TV too!"

"Hey doesn't that white haired guy look familiar?"

"Is he old? Why is his hair white?"

Again, Victor does not understand Japanese much. But when he hears the word "jiji" he could not help but be personally attacked, especially since they were looking at him. 

Once they were out the door with Yuuko following behind them, probably to help them unlace, Yuuri skated towards him and looked at Victor apologetically. 

"Sorry about making you come all the way here to bring me lunch."

"It's fine." He says, subconsciously tracing circles on his scalp which Yuuri took notice of. 

"I was about to start practice anyway." He continued, handing Yuuri a towel which he accepted gratefully. 

He mumbled a thanks before wiping off his sweat and running a gloved hand through his skates, swiping off the shaved ice stuck on the blades. 

While he was doing that, Victor had the sudden urge to compare his scalp to Yuuri's, who seems to have the same balding problem as him now that he looks at it from a near distance. 

"Bop." He muttered as he poked Yuuri's scalp. The sudden interaction made the other skater stop what he was doing. The gravity of what Victor had done only sank in when Yuuri also poked and grinded a finger to his own scalp which was in his reach when Victor bent down to poke his. 

The Russian could not have the heart to be offended. Instead, he just laughed at their antics, an act that was mirrored by the other as well. 

Seconds later they were in a full blown fit of laughter, both clutching their heads. 

"Hahaha, oh my God did we really just DO THAT?"

"I know. Seems like we have more than one thing in common now right?"

Yuuri smiled at Victor before answering. "Yeah. I suppose we do."

What followed was a blissful afternoon between the two. Sometime in between, Yuuko stormed in followed by a sauntering Takeshi demanding that he finish his food and both of them to be careful and take breaks too. 

"I'm watching you." She warns them, hands on her hips. 

"Yes mom." Yuuri teases her, to which she flicks him off. 

Victor skated his newest routine leisurely on the ice while Yuuri ate in the background having already eaten before he came here, to which he silently regretted. He would have been sitting beside Yuuri right now like they do during dinner, but that would have cut off some training time which Yakov would be furious with him if he found out. Victor had to obey him sometimes after all. So he had to be content watching Yuuri and his cute chewing cheeks that looked super adorable. It took a lot of effort for him not to squeeze it right then and there. 

"Is that a new routine?" Yuuri asked between chewing, his eyes glistening with curiosity. 

How could this man be so adorable?! 

  
  


"Oh… Uhh yeah. I choreographed a routine for the song we made, I'm testing it out right now."

Yuuri clapped his hands in excitement. "Already? Just as I thought, Victor is really amazing!"

Victor is used to people telling him that he is a great skater. He is used to them singing praises and warming up to him. He us used to his coach yelling the opposite. But the genuine awe of Yuuri, the sparkling in his eyes and the excited expressions made Victor's heart do a Quad flip. 

"I-it's not much. But, can you watch me while I skate Yuuri? I… I want you to see it." He asked hopefully. 

He expected a shy response, maybe flailing of hands and a cute blush. But seeing Yuuri's face morph into a soft expression, Victor knew that nothing could top that gentle face 

"Yeah. I'll watch you. Always."

So Victor skated in between his reminding of Yuuri to finish his food and take his vitamins which his mother asked Victor to tell him as Yuuri forgot to drink them that morning and asking his opinion on almost everything, which flustered him a lot. 

"Hey Victor." Yuuri called after he got enough rest not to puke up if he skated. "Could… Could you teach me a little bit of the routine you just did?"

Victor's smile at that moment had been the brightest Yuuri had seen since he arrived at his home. 

Yuuri picked up on the step sequence quickly, grasping the story behind the skate that was accompanied by the song they made together. 

"OK but what if you put a spin after your Quad instead of before then end the sequence by reaching out? And are you sure about putting that towards the end? It's an FS after all." Yuuri looked at his companion in concern. 

"I can probably handle it. I like what you said about reaching out at the end by the way. Let me try it out."

Victor practiced his fs until five in the afternoon, adjusting the choreography with Yuuri giving his two cents every now and then. At some point, however, Yuuri went silent as Victor focused entirely on his routine, almost forgetting about his companion. 

When he did remember him however, he found him curled down behind the barrier fast asleep. He scrambled to get his phone at the other side of the rink to take a picture. But not before draping him in his jacket. 

It was immediately posted on Instagram. 

[image description: Yuuri is curled on the ground, his hands tucked to his cheest, his back against the barrier and his head supported by his jacket and another jacket covers him like a blanket.]

  
  
  


**v-nikiforov** @katsuki_yuuri fell asleep behind the barrier. So precious.

#skating #sleeping #Vityainjapan #icepalace #Ipromisei'mtraningYakov 

  
  
  


Yuuri stirred a bit as he hit post. Grinding his teeth before tugging the jacket closer which made Victor kneel down and on the verge of a breakdown on the ice. He was too adorable. 

But as much as he loved looking at sleeping Yuuri™, he needed to bring him home already, especially since he seemed worn out. 

Yuuko had taken notice of him leaving the rink. "Victor, all done for the day? Where's Yuuri?"

"He's passed out, curling behind the barrier. I can't have the heart to wake him though."

Yuuko laughed a bit and waved him off. "Same. When we were kids, whenever he would get exhausted when skating, he would disappear and we would make it into a game who could find where Yuuri curled up at first. Takeshi would usually carry him on his back all the way home."

Imagining a small Yuuri being carried biggy back was adorable in his mind, he wanted to try to do it. 

"Do you mind picking up our bags and shoes? I'll help Yuuri out and carry him home."

And they do just that. It was a miracle that Yuuri was asleep after everything. 

Victor noticed when he lifted Yuuri uo, just how light he was. It wasn't because he's thin and light kind of thing. He was light to carry. He expected him to be heavier, but to Victor, carrying him was a light burden. Having Yuuri piggy backed behind him felt so right. His soft snores and his heartbeat were almost in sync with his footsteps. His heart beat loudly, but not from fatigue, it must have been something else that he can't point out exactly. 

The setting sun and the soft cries of the seagulls reminded him of the tiring days of practice back at his home rink. No, maybe it was something deeper. A memory he can't place. 

Victor was reminded of soft lavender detergent and a cool breeze swaying long and smooth silver. He could remember slender arms wrapping him in warm hugs and a shower of sloppy kisses. He could remember emerald blue eyes and knitted head caps. He could remember blood and cold skin. He could remember white and the smell of lillies. 

Victor shrugged the memory off, focusing on carrying Yuuri home. He tucked in the younger skater, the pride he felt was worth the sore feeling in his arms. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  
  


Phichit had a lot of friends. He had friends back in Thailand and friends here in Detroit. He was friends with every cafe employee on the block and he's got friends from all over the world from his social media. But he had only one best friend. One friend who knew the darker side of the mostly cheerful skater. 

Yuuri stayed with him when he was but a mere foreigner with broken English, wet in the nose in being in America. He guided him during those times he would get depressed and worried about not progressing with his skating more than he wanted to. He stayed up with him during sleepless nights, making him the best tea he had ever tasted, supported him through every decision he made, even if it was as illegal as having pets in their apartment or bringing in a washing machine, he would cook for Phichit when he had exams even though he technically had them too. Yuuri was busy, busier than the younger skater, but he always gave him the time of day, hanging out with him on his bed, binge watching skating movies and videos and fanboying over Victor Nikiforov. 

For Phichit, there was only one Katsuki Yuuri for him. And he's gone just like that. He went away without a proper good-bye. And he calls him his friend? 

He's mad, disappointed, sad, and empty with the disappearance of someone special in his life. And if it were not for his lack of money he would have flown to Japan and corner that piglet and give him a piece of his mind. He had a few options, like selling a liver, but all are unlikely. He was being offered to be flown back to Thailand but ultimately rejected the idea. He wanted to stay with Celestino, at least for a few more weeks. And now that he was offered to be flown back home, he had no chance of going to Japan at this point. 

But other than feeling anger, more so, he felt worried. Extremely worried. 

Saying that Phichit is worried would be an understatement. But he knew that he couldn't outwardly show it. The past weeks since Yuuri had gone home, the Thai skater relentlessly trained under Celestino, turning his anxieties into drive. 

"You can stop now, Phichit. It’s okay. Rest."

He wanted to refuse the suggestion. He really wanted to. But his aching body began to differ.

"Alright." He breathed exasperatedly. "I'm going home now I guess."

Celestino looked at his student's retreating figure. He can't really blame the kid for acting the way he does. For he too, admittedly, has been feeling uncertain, disappointed and dare he say devastated with Yuuri's predicament. Phichit may have been skating more often than before, but the usually upbeat and light-hearted style of his had been substituted with a more aggressive skate. He could practically feel the tension cut through the ice through his skates. 

The pressure that only he knew of his student's impending death is starting to take a toll on him. Having a lot of skaters in his rink tended to make him more vigilant than not, but recently, it had been harder to separate his personal life with his work life. 

Katsuki Yuuri had been the first junior skater who was asked to be trained by him even though he was technically new to coaching. At that time he was Japan's rising star in the skating world and his countrymen seem to adore him, if any of those 23 advertisements were anything to come by. It kind of intimidated him, this kid, specifically asked to be trained by him. He was not sure if he would be able to support the child as he is supposed to, but boy did the kid fly. 

He soared through the ice as if it were air, his emotions laced his skates and dripped onto the ice. He could make everyone stop and stare as he glided through the ice. Katsuki Yuuri flew under his tutelage and brought more skaters to his rink. But he knew it wasn't because of him. 

Minako, who doubled as his ballet and music teacher and official guardian while he was in Detroit, would often come to the rink to check on Yuuri, spotting him and keeping the boundless energy in place. Phichit, who was his roommate and best friend, acted as his source of encouragement far from his home. And Yuuri himself, was a genius. He could memorize a routine by watching a video and learn the concepts of a spin with only a few practices after analyzing it through video. He also has a flare for bringing the music to life through his moments, his step sequence and his spins being his strengths. His only flaw is his confidence which brings him down probably too often. 

And even with that Celestino could barely help him. He could only watch helplessly as Yuuri broke down on the kiss and cry at Sochi. He could only watch as he walked away from his rink. 

His other flaw would have to be his disease. Minako and Yuuri's family had informed him that the main reason he wanted to train in America was not only because of the top notch facility that Celestino had access to, but the medical care that he could get. 

Fifteen years old, and fresh out of the junior season with his final gold as a junior, he came to America just as he was about to get out of remission. 

Leukemia, they said. And it was at that moment that Celestino understood the weight and strength Yuuri had on him. The reason for all his anxiety and all his drive. The kid loved skating. He looks so free on the ice, that even just after two weeks, he could clearly see that he did not belong surrounded by needles and white sheets. 

He was useless for Yuuri. He had watched him grow. He had already seen him at one of the worst times in his life. He could not bring himself to tell anyone of what was happening to Yuuri, but at what cost? Yuuri would gain NOTHING from having this as a secret. And it was at that moment that Celestino realized, Yuuri was not the only one who lacked confidence, it was also him. He needed to step up and act like his goddamn coach, one last time. 

He ran towards the lockers, and thankfully the person he wanted to find was there. 

Celestino was not known to be an impulsive person, but at that moment he knew what he needed to do. Maybe he broke too early, but he also hoped that he wasn’t too late.

"Phichit! What do you say when we go to Japan?" 

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  


"What do you mean Yuri and Lilia are coming to Japan?" Victor asked his coach through the phone that evening. Yuuri and Victor had just finished dinner and Yuuri already excused himself saying that he wanted to turn in for the night early.

Yakov's message was not unwelcomed, but it was still shocking. He didn't mind having someone he personally knew fly over here, but he could not help but think of WHY. 

"Oh… Oh… Ok. I understand now… Sure… Yes of course… OK I will… Hey can you tell them to bring me more clothes?... Alright alright never mind, baggage weight yada yada, I will be picking them up from?... Haneda, not Fukuoka? Ok understandable… I wooon't I have Yuuri… Of course he will go with me. Just kidding I'll ask him first… Ok… Ok… But why are you not coming? Yakov? Yakov? … Did he just hang up on me?"

"Who hung up on you?"

"Minako!"

“Hey! I didn't hang up on you.”

Victor gave out a hearty laugh. "Hi! To what do I owe the honor?"

Minako sat down next to Victor on one of the inns restaurant tables. "I'm actually here for Mari. She called and asked me to come today. Thank God I have nothing on my schedule today and I gave up my free time to specially come for her. ISN'T THAT RIGHT MARI?!"

"Of course I am! I'm always right! What are we talking about again?" Mari shouted from somewhere in the restaurant, somewhere Victor could not see at the moment. Because of course the Japanese woman who had the aura of a female assassin on her period had to come out from nowhere behind him which made him jump. 

"So what would you need me for?"

"I'm going to Tokyo tomorrow, you're coming with me."

“Okay.”

Mari did a double take. “Chotto. What did you say right now?”

"Hey Nikiforov, I heard you like your alcohol. Have you ever tasted Japanese Sake?"

“Don’t ignore me?! Did you instantly say---”

"Japanese Sake?"

"Oh we are going to have so much fun..."

“Don’t ignore me! And don't get drunk old lady!”

Oh it was fun alright, just not for Victor. He could not decide whether he loves the sake or he is just too drunk to understand everything around him. He shouldn't have gotten drunk, he was Russian for God's sake. But he digress, stereotypes are for the weak after all. But again, he did just down five whole large bottles of sake. But he can't help it. They were good alright.

"Theeen, I Yuuri actually climbed up a tree... A TREE! Just to avoid me! Did he really hate me that much Minako? I just wanted to make music with him!" Victor slurred but mostly managed to stay coherent enough to be understood by a partially sober Minako and an exasperated Mari.

"Believe me Victor. He doesn't hate you. He had dozens of posters of you in his room here and in Detroit, not something someone does if he hates you. He was probably scared of you---”

“---But that’s worse!”

“No, wait listen. Did you know that he flubbed the GPF last year because he was depressed and anxious? He must have thought the worst possible scenario when you came instead of it being just an elaborate booty call---”

“I have a crush and that’s different!”

Mari snorted and Victor who glared at her in return.

“The kid handles too much on his own. It won't hurt him to trust people a bit more. If he was friendlier in the past, then I might have a hot skater lover by nowww..."

"I know right? At this rate I'll be as old, single and lonely as you!"

The Russian skater shook his head at the women’s antics, somewhat used to dealing with chaotic people over the years. Being with them brought an air of familiarity to him. He was reminded of the time he had with his rink mates. He was reminded of the playful banter he has with them, all the tiresome practices, all the late night restaurant rendezvous they have in the different countries they’ve been to. And he was reminded that he had not been good to them when he still had the time with them.

Ever since he came to Japan, he had been learning a lot in life that he never knew before. Everyone so far had treated him so kindly, like family. It was not like that at first though. 

Hiroko, bless her heart, had welcomed her to their home the minute she learned that he actually stayed in a hotel the first three days he was in Hasetsu and basically adopted him. Toshiya had supported his wife, but he had his own suspicions. Victor could still remember the day that the Japanese man pulled him aside and asked him the real reason he wanted Yuuri to compose a song for him, brows knitted and hands shaking, he pressed Victor for answers. And Mari also pulled him aside once, bringing him in front of an altar and explaining about Yuuri’s situation. He learned about the death of Yuuri’s dog and his flattering idolization with the living legend before being given the shovel talk.

They cared so much about Yuuri that it kind of made Victor jealous about having a family like his. He never knew how much he wanted to be part of this world until he had experienced it himself.

"The other day, I asked him what he wanted me to be for him." He started again, downing half a cup in one go before burying his face in his free hand. 

"He told me that he just wanted me to be me. But I don't get it Minakooo... What did he... Mean... By..." The platinum haired man didn't get to finish his sentence as he slumped onto the table face down, dead to the world. 

Minako stared at the younger man in pity. This world champion, he's more complex than what he shows on camera and on the ice. And she thought Yuuri had a lot of secrets going on. 

Minako could see how much deprived the man is of love that he actively chases. He seeks so much answers to questions he asked himself a long time ago. He's just too confused and scared, unlike the strong persona he shows. 

And Yuuri knows all of this too. Maybe that was why Yuuri wanted him to stay the same. Because neither of them have seen the real Victor, because he hasn’t resurfaced yet.

“Oi Marii! We’re bringing the kids! Let’s take them around Tokyo.”

“So that’s why you agreed so quickly. Sure, why not. I’m sure Yuuri won’t mind. He’s been quarantined in this place for a month now.”

Face still planted on the table Victor cheers. “Yaay Tokyo with Yuuri!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuuri was not able to go to Tokyo and so did Victor. The next day was dedicated to completing his choreography before the Russians came to Japan and it would be complete torment for Victor if he did otherwise. However they promised to attend Mari’s competition the next day before they had to pick up Lilia and Yuri at the airport. Yuuri and Minako almost had a heart attack when they learned that the Prima Ballerina would be coming to Japan to help with Victor and Yuri’s training. 

Yuuri accompanied him for the whole day, skating next to him and casually hanging towels and water bottles which Victor accepted without a second thought to which Yuuko had teased the two for being sweet. They both blushed but did not comment about it.

That evening Victor learns that Mari competitively pole dances in Tokyo every once in a while as a hobby and that she’s really good at it. He also learns that Yuuri knows some moves and Victor manages to make him promise to show them one day. He learns that Yuuri was homeschooled from kindergarten to fourth grade by his mother who graduated as a teacher and works part time as a home tutor before him, but had to give it up and work full time at the onsen. He learned that Yuuri learned Music from his hospital room neighbor when he was young and that like him, he loved the violin more than the piano despite being adept at playing it.

Yuuri in return learned that Victor was a very tactile person. There were times when victor would accidentally bush shoulders, times where he would affectionately pat his cheeks and give random hugs. He would usually get flustered and pull back when he realizes what he was doing, but that was mostly half of the time he did it. He also learned that he had also been homeschooled for his whole life and that he never went to college, focusing on only the ice. Yuuri learned that his mother died when he was a child after she ran away from home and that he never saw her during the last years of her life. 

They soak in the onsen afterwards. And if Victor had been more focused on Yuuri’s ass and thighs instead of the small rash on the back of yuuri’s neck, he could chalk it up to having a gay crisis. Yuuri had focused on Victor's abs and ass so he can't actually fault Victor. Not that he would anyway.

  
  


Victor was preparing for their departure to Tokyo when he heard a commotion followed by loud knocking at his door.

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“VIKTOOOOR!!!” 

“Yuri Plisetsky stop yelling like a rabid animal and open your eyes instead of your mouth.” The said blond huffed in response to the dignified woman standing next to him who was garbed in a rather thick coat that was too much for the Japanese temperature. 

“Has he contacted you at all?” 

Yuri scrunched his eyebrows and huffed loudly in displeasure. He was in a foreign country, out of his will and the person who was supposed to pick him up has been missing for more than an hour after they landed. He’s tired, jetlagged and hungry. “Not yet. Maybe the idiot forgot about us… oh wait he sent a message.”

Unbeknownst to the young skater, this was not Lilia Baranovskaya’s first time in Japan. She had no problem getting to where their destination by themselves, but Yakov had already petitioned his wildcard of a prodigy to play tour guide as if he thought that he couldn’t handle herself. She was an adult nearing her senior days, she handled herself quite well and she can take care of herself and especially the child that he made her bring with her.

“Oh shit.”

“Why what is it?” Lilia glanced at the others phone as soon as he showed her the screen.

“Victor sent us a location address and how to get there. He said he’s in the hospital.”

5 months left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this on tumblr but I don't know how to do a hyperlink yet so here. 
> 
> Please proceed only if you like nonsense analysis lol. 
> 
> Yuuri
> 
> In the anime, Yuuri's strengths are his persistence and stamina. As much as I love Yuuri, I'd take a chance and say what he black in mind he makes up with practice and persistence. Also, he doesn't lack confidence as much as fanfictions romanticize them. He just has unjustified anxiety. Mr.I-screwed-up-even-if-I-got-into-the-grand-prix-finals, is a genius of hardwork. Here, I want to emphasize that people think he worked hard, he does, but what he lacks in stamina, he makes up with his mind. We can't just make Yuuri suffer without giving him a benefit, so I made him have partial photographic memory, an applied conceptual genius and a musician by ear. 
> 
> VICTOR
> 
> One of the things I benefited from re-watching it though is realizing how much I love Makka. I also realized how Makka and Yuuri are close in the anime. I would like to exploit that. 
> 
> Also, Victor already knows! Well, he already had his suspicions at the start, but, confirming that actually hurts more than being surprised by it. Because learning about it by surprise catches you off guard, numbing the pain before letting it sink in. But confirming your suspicion, what you prayed was wrong was actually right and you have nothing in your power to do anything but wait again, is somehow more painful. Because you already know how painful it is, and you still have to wait longer, knowing you have the time but not the solution. This reminds Victor of all those conflicting emotions while he was competing, empty and painful. 
> 
> Also, Victor's character is hard to pin down even though he looks extra af. He is actually really more complex than a gay simp. I'm not anywhere near knowledgeable in figure skating, but even I can see that Eros has a step sequence that would emphasis Yuuri's strength. Which brings me to never believe what Yakov said that Victor only thinks about himself. Prior to Yuuri tho, I'm not so sure, he did cheer up Yurio. Also, Victor is so observant. It's almost as if what he can't experience himself he observes it from the others and assumes how it feels. That would explain how he can't explain to Yurio what Agape means to him. Because love is such an abstract feeling at the time even though he understands the concept of it. And I realized when Victor was watching Yurio and Yuuko interact in a familial way, he's observing whether Yurio grasped agape, and instead notices how he lacks parental love that he, himself, also lacks. Or maybe, it's just love in general. He actively pursues Yuuri in Japan, barely acknowledges people around him before Yuuri and often acts extra. Both him and Yuuri has separation anxiety and are used to be on the receiving end of jealousy and hate. So when Yuuri learns to love him, for him, his beauty and his flaws, he falls... HARD. 
> 
> Nishigori pegs me as the bi friend who got to marry his childhood crush but still has gay qualities. 
> 
> CELESTINO
> 
> Anyone want to talk about Ciao-ciao? I do! He is such a sweetheart to Yuuri and he obviously cares for him. He will be hostile towards Victor both here and the anime because he doesn't want Yuuri to be hurt or taken advantage of. He cares for his skater sons and will honestly fite and kill for them. 
> 
> Okay this breakdown has been too long sorry. 
> 
> Okay last one. Yakov would totally have a heart shaped smiled more often.


	4. Those who stand with me in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so scared Victor. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. 
> 
> I’m dying Victor, I’m tired of all of this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Guys! Sorry for the late chapter. But I guess you'll understand when you read through this. God we're almost done. wow.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! I know I enjoyed writing it! Thank you guys!

A haunting tune played in the ex-prima’s mind as she watched the train move at speeds her body was not used to. A flash of graceful steps as fluid as the gentle wind. The swaying of a loose knee length skirt and a pale yellow scarf. It was a memory worth remembering and a memory she had yet to revive in sweet nostalgia.

Lilia could never forget the day that Victor came forward and asked to skate to the piece she once danced to in her prime. It had been the first time he chose and had been involved in his own routine. It was his final year at the Junior skate division. And being able to witness Victor skate to that piece, the simple act of watching him go through all of those emotions, it had been a greater achievement than winning Gold that season and setting a world record that season. 

It was the song from the movie Anastasia, Once upon a December, Victor's mother's favorite song. It was a little obvious and maybe common. But both the mother and son seems to have no problem with being obvious and wearing their hearts on their sleeves. 

Skating to it made Vitya so happy. It was a liberating experience to see him, telling his mother's story on the ice. But Vitya was not a storyteller. But he showed the world perfectly, how his mother flew despite her broken wings.

“How are we going to reach this hot springs? And why a hot spring? Do we have anywhere to stay there?” The teenager asked his older companion staring outside the train’s window in silent amazement. 

“An old acquaintance of mine will be picking us up at the station. She will bring us to the hotsprings, hopefully they have enough room to accommodate us.”

Her response may have not answered his question, but Yuri did not push it further, not wanting to anger the stoic ballerina who was busy looking out the window.

They arrived in Japan earlier than they originally had planned due to seat availability. Two days prior, Lilia had come to learn from an acquaintance that five passengers have cancelled their flights yesterday and Lilia had jumped at the opportunity to occupy their seats (posh as she may be, she didn’t mind the occasional economic flight) and fly a day ahead of schedule. The plan was to stay in Tokyo for two nights and three days for a bit of leisure time. But plans have changed more than once and Lilia had decided to ride a train going to the location of their next flight. 

It was a rather beautiful and calming ride to be honest, albeit rather short. Yuri had no idea why he was dragged to Japan with her other than the fact that she would be training him in some Ballet before his senior debut that year. He had no idea who they are about to meet other than the fact that Lilia seemed to know the people they were meeting. And he has NO IDEA why did the ever impulsive Victor come to Japan, of all places, and leave the rink. Yakov was completely vague about the whole ordeal that left himself and the other Russian skaters in puzzlement. 

Not being able to think of anything else to say, Yuri answered a gruff, “Well, I hope so.” to which the woman did not acknowledge.

The rest of the trip was silent after as both artists were left to their own thoughts 

The trains in Japan were so different from the ones in Russia, as well as the nature that surrounds it, Lilia concluded. But they were their different kind of beauty. Lilia sent a look at the wonder gazed child, silently thanking Yakov for convincing her in letting the fifteen year old accompany her during the trip. 

The soft rays of the sun glistening from the train window reminded her of the sunlight window of her studio back in Russia. It reminded her of the innocent laughs and ballet shoes. She recalled the memories of a transitory period of an auspicious time in her life where everything was right where it should be. But now that time is but a fleeting memory that has drifted along like a snowflake under the winter peaks of the sun.

“Hey Lilia?” the younger grabbed the attention of the older Russian. “I don’t get it. Why are we here? Why did you bring me here? I don’t understand.” He asked in a modulated tone, finally letting out his confusion. Lilia, who did not notice that she had previously started to lean against the window, sat upright. 

“Why do you need to know? Do you think that there is another reason why I brought you here?” The question does not phase the curious child who was now accustomed by the austere woman. 

“Probably not. But it would be nice to know. I hate being left in the dark.” Yuri frowned.

“I know Yuratchka.” She replied, eyes softening by a fraction. “But you do not need to understand everything that happens around you in life, or you might get lost in your quest to find the answer.”

He hates it whenever she answers in this poetic and vague tone. And he hates it more when she is absolutely right. He was just confused as hell and she just sat there all nostalgic and moody as always. It irritated him inside, but he would rather keep his thoughts to himself lest the woman would unleash her wrath.

So he simply answered, “Whatever.” like the moody teenager he is.

Lilia cracked a small smile.

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  


Hiroko had no idea what was going on anymore. All she knew was that she was supposed to wake up her son that morning for his and Victor’s trip to Tokyo, and he was missing from his room. The room that was usually void of clutter had a few shirts lying down on the floor that may have spilled from his open wall cabinet, his alarm clock was not in its proper order and the cactus pot laid on the table, spilling the small rocks that Yuuri had piled on top of the soil claiming it was for aesthetic purposes. His favorite beanie, which she had knitted for him along with his scarf a long time ago, together with his coat was missing from its usual spot behind the door but his wallet and bag was still on his bed.

Did he go out to jog this early in the morning? But he usually jogs after six, not before, aside from his casual night jobs when he wants to clear up his mind. Either way, he does not bring a coat and a beanie to jog. He never forgets his phone and wallet. He knows how paranoid his mother gets.

Which is why Hiroko is panicking. She can't find Yuuri anywhere at the onsen. And nobody had seen him yet. Mari was not there, and she was always the one who could magically find Yuuri. She asked everyone around. Toshiya, her three other employees, Takeshi who just delivered several boxes of water bottles, oh… OH! She hadn’t asked Vicchan yet.

She rushed towards Victor’s door, her husband tailing behind her. She hastily knocked at the door, completely in a state of panic. Victor opened the door, fully garbed except for a pair of socks that were in his hands. He looked concerned at the couple’s recent disposition. “Ohayo. What---”

“Vicchan! Vicchan have you seen Yuuri? Have you seen Yuuri at all this morning?”

Her heart sank when he answered no. 

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  


_ “Hey Yuuri. Have you ever seen a crane in the winter?” Victor asked curiously as he popped his hand joints, feeling tired from playing the piano for a whole hour. They were almost done with the song by now. However, Yuuri, ever the perfectionist, has stated his dissatisfaction with the song more than once the past three hours they started the song for the day. “I heard that there are a lot here in Japan in the winter and… hey, I was asking something Yuuri.” _

_ “Shh...There’s something missing, but I can’t point out what.” Yuuri narrowed his brows, ignoring the question while glaring at the black and white keys of the keyboard. _

_ “I think it’s great so far.” Victor stated with a smile to which the raven haired replied with a frown. _

_ “Of course you think that way. It’s just, I can’t explain it. There’s… there’s something missing.” Yuuri says, placing a hand on his chin while the other holding the sheet music of the piece, humming and bobbing his head through the notes. Victor affectionately watched the slight furrowing and relaxing of Yuuri brows, the twitch of his fingers on his chin that became a series of unconscious movements that emulated a toneless piano playing.  _

_ “Maybe it’s the tempo? What if I add a few notes here...” Grabbing a nearby pen, Yuuri scribbled on the sheet music, never breaking eye contact, the three pieces of paper having his full attention. “Can you scoot over Victor? I need to check something out.”  _

_ Victor wordlessly stood up from his seat by the keyboard as Yuuri moved from his spot by the bed to the instrument. The Russian could only look at him in astonishment from the sheer dedication he was giving the piece. And it touched Victor in more ways than one. He did the right choice in coming to Yuuri, that was for sure. _

_ This feeling of amazement was doubled by the time Yuuri had started playing the first notes of the music. Gone was the soothing soft and delicate aura of the piece. It’s hints of subtle nostalgia and longingness was now replaced with a feeling that had Victor reel back.  _

_ He could hear his mother in Yuuri's music.  _

_ While listening to Yuuri play the piano, Victor noticed, he barely played any fast pieces unlike when he plays the violin. The two instruments were played differently as if they came from two separate people instead of only one.  _

_ His violin is slightly aggressive, on point, in control and at times even erratic. However, they still had this touch of gentleness, like a stern parent guiding it’s child or sometimes it sounded like the winds of a breezy autumn day. It was always full of life.  _

_ His piano on the other hand, it always sounded like a mother’s caress, gentle and soft, slow and steady. When he played it felt like a winter stroll with the sun peaking through the frost bitten branches of the stagnant winter trees. It was always a gentle melody peaking through the halls of his childhood home. But sometimes, the beautiful melody sounded, to him at least, somewhat lifeless. It sounded like contentment and stillness, like someone watching from afar with a smile on his face. _

_ Despite Yuuri laughing at him at first, he usually hears him playing Love’s Sorrow. But it was not how he usually heard it. It lacked the normal tempo and dynamics. He was brought back to the term “con rubato”, hearing it often from children who had just learned the term from their music teacher. He remembers it being translated to “stolen time”. This is when the musician gets to play a piece’s tempo in his own discretion, his own choice. And it was funny how such a freeing style could be called stolen. In a way, was it unfair to the music having his time stolen for the musician's freedom?  _

_ He thinks back to Yuuri and his rubato. You can’t help but be envious of the man sometimes, envious on how free Yuuri looks whenever he plays or skates. He looks like he is in another dimension, in charge of his own destiny. To Victor, he looked like the conductor of his own life. There were people who dedicated their whole life to a single craft, honing it to the best of their abilities and still being shadowed by others less talented than them despite all the hardships. Yuuri however, has no care for any of that. He plays because he wants to, he skates because he wants to. Victor himself is guilty of giving up music when he was young, learning only a few pieces and giving up because he was not up to par. He let his perfectionist side take over. In another world, Yuuri may have been the perfectionist, giving up when he sees that failure is due. But in this world, he is anything but. He is the master of his own life. He controls his music, he is in charge of his skate. But what he never knew, was that those two were the only things that he could control. _

_ The piece was unlike any of his previous playing. He was sure it was the exact same piece. He could hear the familiar notes wrapped up with a series of additional notes that made Victor feel energized all of a sudden.  _

_ It reminded him of himself. His past self that was left an empty shell as he skated, winning more and more, but losing himself in the raging storm of his success. It was the Victor that he was before. _

_ Yuuri had mentioned in the past that his first love was the violin, being the first one he learned, and favored it over the piano because he has a hard time coordinating both of his hands at the same time. But he could hear no disorientation, no faltering from his fast playing. For what seemed like an hour to Victor, the song only stretched for a minute. Yuuri stopped, however, when he hit a wrong note. _

_ “Oops. Sorry.” He laughed in embarrassment. But Victor was still looking at him with amazement in his eyes. “It’s not done. It still feels like something is missing. But do you like it so far?” _

_ He was at a loss of words that he didn’t notice a tear escape his eye because he was sure he was only looking at Yuuri in awe. “Eh? Victor? Why are you crying?” _

_ At that, Victor immediately looked away and wiped his eye in one swift and comical motion. “Hah? I’m crying? Where?” _

_ Yuuri could only laugh at Victor’s action, feeling giddy in getting that kind of reaction form him. That feeling quickly went away when he felt a sudden pang in his chest. What had Victor gone through in life to be able to cry with a straight face? ---He thought, clutching his hand to his chest. _

_ “I’m going to the restroom for a bit.” He said, standing up, not waiting for a reply. Which was alright, because Victor could not give out a reply anyway. _

_ He sighed after the soft closing of the door and unceremoniously plopped down on the bed, placing an arm over his eyes. He contemplated on why he reacted that way. But when he couldn’t find an answer, he faced the piano once more. A familiar tune crossed his mind as his hands moved on its own to a familiar song. _

_ He had skated to this piece before. He could remember the cold feeling of the ice on his skin as he narrated a story that only a few people knew. _

_ They said that she was the palest shade of hair and the most striking eyes in the history of Russia. She was a beauty unlike any other, and it showed in her movements with anything she did. She was told to have been the embodiment of beauty and grace. She made her body into music as she danced her way through the stage. She made music into her body, telling a story with the steady yet gentle flicks of her wrists and fingers on the violin, a serene smile on her lips above the delicate instrument. She captivated the hearts of everyone around her with her kindness and beauty, making the world her stage, and everybody in it her audience. _

_ She soared like a crane in the winter, her sleek and slender body blending in with the snow. But even a crane as elegant as her, could not brave the incoming storm. _

_ She fell. _

_ He was brought out of his thoughts by the sudden sliding of the door as he finished half of the song. _

_ “Why did you stop? It was beautiful.” _

_ Victor looked at him with sad eyes. “It felt like it was missing something.”  _

_ Yuuri’s eyes widened a fraction before smiling knowingly. He wordlessly took out his violin, positioning it in his hands while Victor watched him with wide eyes. _

_ “I think I know what’s missing.” He smiled. _

_ “With my playing or the song for the fs?”  _

_ “Both.” _

_ At that day, Victor started to feel whole again, little by little, his broken wings healed. _

  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  


Victor did not choose the song Once upon a December just because of his mother, no matter how much he explains it to the press. His world record-breaking piece. It was both freedom and it was a sense of flying straight into a storm of confusion. It was his declaration of wanting to know what happened to his mother. And his performance of Stammi Viccino solidified his desire and led Yakov to finally give in and let him travel to Japan. What he didn’t know was that he would be able to finally meet the pinal pieces of the puzzle his mother left for him. 

And now that he was in Japan, he could see just how complex that puzzle was. The most puzzling piece being Yuuri. How does he fit into the puzzle? Why was he such a huge factor? He couldn’t understand. But whenever he looks at Yuuri’s eyes, he can see his mother.

The first thing he hears when he arrives at the hospital is a child asking how long he had been out of remission for his leukemia. Yuuri sat on one of the beds, a sandwich in his left hand and an IV on the other. He could not hear his answer, but he saw the little bald girl with a knitted headband’s eyes shine as she flailed her arms in her little wheelchair.

“Wow! I hope I can grow up and get to do my dreams like you Katsuki-sensei! You’re so cool!” Despite it being said in pure Japanese, he understood what it meant. After all, those who have been stolen from by life have the same wish, to be able to live a life where they can reach what they want to reach. 

Yuuri knows that he is blessed. He’s blessed with an understanding family, he is blessed with supportive friends and he is blessed with the talent to do what he wants. So was it selfish of him to think that he is actually not in control of his own life? Was it fair to think of himself as one of the people who have been robbed of something? He fought and won, countless times in his life. But why was nothing enough for him? Why did he feel like he lost more than he had ever won. He didn’t deserve to be sad, he didn’t deserve to be blessed, he didn’t deserve to be alive. There are so many more people who died who would be alive instead of him.

No, he should stop thinking like that. He knows that it’s wrong to compare his struggles to others, but he just can’t help it. He can’t help that life is unfair to everyone. You can’t just start thinking that life would be alright. You can’t just look in the mirror and tell yourself that tomorrow will be a new day. Could he be considered weak if he can't be like those people who make those inspirational speeches? Because he’s sorry if he can’t make himself love himself. He can’t see his disease as a blessing because it’s not. It’s really not.

The romanticization of being inspiring just because you have a hard life. He hates it. Just because you, someone who had suffered so much, was able to survive means that you are an inspiration to others. Because being an inspiration also means you may discredit others who have been struggling and were not able to succeed. He did not want to be used as someone who could make normal people feel useless because someone sick made it far so why did a normal person like him become so useless. So he kept his diagnosis as a Leukemia survivor a secret.

It wasn’t because he was ashamed of it. No, he was proud of himself for surviving two remissions and a radiation therapy gone wrong. He was ashamed of himself because he can’t inspire himself. He loves the ice. To him, it numbs all the pain he’s received, it makes himself feel like soaring and taking control. He loves music because it calms him and gives him more ways to share a story without needing to speak.

“I know you will.” He reassures the child, smiling gently at her excited figure despite being minutes into starting her fourth chemo session. “Because you’ve already started fighting.”

The Russian skater could not help but stare at Yuuri as he watched the little girl get wheeled away, leaving himself to his own IV drip and sandwich. He watches while Yuuri re-wraps his sandwich, half eaten, and puts it aside. He watches Yuuri stare at the half empty IV drip with a nostalgic stare, a familiar gaze that he could only wish no one will have. He watched Yuuri squirm uncomfortably when he noticed Victor staring at him through the glass doors of the emergency room, until he couldn’t watch anymore.

Victor tried to calm himself as he walked towards the other man, his eyes glued to his small frame. 

“Do you need anything else?” Victor asked with more force than he intended which made the other flinch. He put down Yuuri’s pouch that contained his phone and wallet.

“No, thank you for coming here.” He meekly replied, refusing to make eye contact with Victor.

Victor could not think of anything else to say even though a million questions raced through his head. Why didn’t Yuuri ask anyone’s help. Why did he admit himself to the hospital? Their truck was still there, his bike was still there. Did he run? Didn't he get tired? He had to be in pain if he's like this. 

With Yuuri being so secretive with his visit to the hospital, does that mean this is serious? Is that why he left Celestino? Is that why he asked Victor to calm down his parents and asked him to tell them that he was buying something to give to Mari before they left for Tokyo but he forgot his phone and wallet?

But instead Victor simply asked, “So where did the sandwich come from if you didn’t have your wallet?”

“Oh, I had some money left from the train ride. I normally put money in my pant pockets in case I forget my wallet. I kind of asked the nurse who lent me her phone to call you to buy me a sandwich because I needed to eat before I drank my meds.”

“Oh that’s good.” That was really good, for once Yuuri asked for help instead of being an idiot.

But after that, he could not think of anything to say again. So they just awkwardly sat there in silence. Surprisingly, it was Yuuri who broke the ice.

“Aren’t you going to say anything else?”

“Do you want me to say something?” He started, but Yuuri did not answer. “It’s not my place to ask those kinds of questions, Yuuri. You called  _ me  _ for a reason. So I’ll just stay here with you and give you the support you need. But, you have to know when to draw the line. You have to speak with your family after this. Do you understand?”

Victor looks at Yuuri’s crestfallen face. He looks like he can’t decide whether he should be grateful for Victor’s words or be anxious about telling his parents. Nevertheless, Yuuri nods his head and leans on Victor’s shoulders. He snuggles to his side and inhales deeply and sighed. 

“I know. Thank you Victor.”

Victor smiles fondly at Yuuri and gently places a hand over Yuuri’s, clasping the smaller one in his own. “I promised to look after you Yuuri. From now on. I always will.”

Yuuri still doesn't look at Victor, keeping his head down low, now clutching Victor’s hands tighter and tighter, his hand trembling in Victor's as his sobs grew louder, failing to hold it in. His voice breaks. 

“I'm so scared Victor. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

Victor could hear his heart break at the same time as Yuuri cracked. This was it, Yuuri had finally opened up. Yuuri was finally ready to let someone in the tiny walled space he had built around himself. But he can’t feel happy about that fact. The dam had now broken. He didn’t care if the people around them had started to notice the two of them. He didn’t care about the judging looks of the older generation. But he was glad for that one nurse who decided to close the curtains to give them privacy.

“Don’t…" His voice is calm as he speaks. Don’t you ever say sorry about this yuuri. It isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. 

You’ve suffered so much my dear Yuuri. You’re so brave. So, so brave. You're so amazing and strong. 

You kept it in for so long. I know you are hurting Yuuri, I know you are scared, so please, you have to let us be there for you. Let us care for you Yuuri, because we care about you a lot.”

Yuuri continued to cry as Victor removed his hand and put his arm around Yuuri who had both of his hands furiously wiping his tears to no avail. He pulled him in and whispered soft reassurances that he was there for him. He kisses Yuuri’s head and strokes his sides. 

He relishes this intimate moment between them as he comforts Yuuri in his arms. Yuuri doesn’t shy away from Victor’s contact either. He just feels so tired. Tired of all the lies he’s spun until now, all the lies he made to his family and to himself. It was time to stop pretending.

He was running out of time.

“I’m tired Victor.” He admits, a tear escaping his eye.

“OK, I'll help you lay down so you can sleep while we want for the IV to finish.”

“No.” He pauses. “I’m dying Victor, I’m tired of all of this. I’m so glad that you came for me. I’m so glad that you didn’t immediately lash out like I expected. I’m so glad it's you who is beside me right now. And I’m so tired of always being disappointed at myself, for always being scared. 

I don’t know why, but you make me feel braver Victor. You make me feel like I can do this. I don’t feel alone anymore. Thank you so much.”

Victor didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He couldn’t. A cold chill ran down his spine as things made a whole lot more sense. He just sat there, caressing Yuuri’s as he wept. Air escaped his lungs. 

Yuuri was dying? 

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but he knew he needed to be strong for Yuuri. He tearfully gazed lovingly at the man beside him who was finally looking into his eyes. 

“I didn’t want to get mad at you Yuuri. You’ve been through enough. So I’m glad that you feel that way with me. Thank you Yuuri, I know who the Victor I want to be now. I want to be your Victor. I want to be your strength. Will you let me Yuuri?”

Now he knew the real reason why fate had brought him here, why he had always wanted to come to japan. Now he knew, it wasn’t Japan that he needed to see. It wasn’t his mother’s last memory that brought him here. It was Yuuri. It was Yuuri all along. 

Yuuri understood him, more than he did to himself. He had seen it. He always seemed to know when Victor needed a hug, letting himself be coddled. He knew when Victor felt uncomfortable, suggesting to do something else and making awkward jokes that made him laugh. He knew what to say and what to do. Even when he was running away from Victor. It was af if Yuuri wanted to make sure that Victor wanted him. 

Yuuri was the one he needed all along.

He loved Yuuri. He loved him! Oh my God he loved the man in his arms. He doesn't understand why, but he loves him. So much. 

"Yuuri. Thank you." His voice breaks.  _ Thank you for making me feel this love.  _

"I love you Yuuri. I love you." Victor cries into his hair. He wraps him in both his arms and buries his face into his hair. He clings on to him as if he was going to disappear any moment. "I love you Yuuri."

To this, Yuuri sheds another round of tears and chokes up on his words so much that he sounded so pathetic. "I-I… I don't… Didn't you hear Victor? I'm---"

So pathetically happy. 

"I don't care, Yuuri. I don't care." Victor trembles as he holds Yuuri desperately in his arms. "All I know is that I love you and I want to protect you. I have never wanted anything more in my life than to hold you, to love you. Will you let me? Yuuri, my brave and sweet Yuuri, my love."

"Victor." He calls his name, his voice cracking as he holds on tightly to Victor's shirt. "Is this real? This feels like a dream. Did I just die? Please God, tell me it isn't, because if it is, I never want to wake up."

"No. This is real. Very real. I love you Katsuki Yuuri. With all my heart."

"Victor, look at me." Yuuri holds on to the sides of his face and stares into the bright pools of his eyes, red and tear streaked. He studies the man's face. He just cried for him. Him. Insignificant and plain Yuuri. Victor Nikiforov loved him. God, he loved him back. 

"I give up." He kisses Victor on the lips, letting go of everything else. Victor kisses back. Only they existed in the moment. It was a split moment, but it seemed to have lasted forever. Never in a million years could Yuuri have imagined to be in the arms of the man he loved most in this world. The man he admired for so many years. Thus man who wept for him, this man who is willing to love him even though his end is near. One day, Yuuri's heart will stop beating. But he knows, he will never, ever, stop loving this man. Never. 

"I love you." Yuuri breathes out. He runs a thumb to wipe the other's tears away. "Thank you for loving me."

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  
  


The man sighed behind his glasses as he leaned closer towards the car window. Toshiya was tired from that morning’s commotion.

That morning, Toshiya sighed at his wife’s retreating figure. He may be concerned, but Hiroko had definitely acted a bit too extreme. Their son was an adult. He should know how to decide for his own life. This was the exact reason why Yuuri insisted on keeping his new diagnosis to himself.

Maybe, maybe it was time for others to know. But he was not the one who should be convincing his child. So he beckoned for Victor, muttering a phrase in broken Japanese.

“Come with me Victoru. I know where Yuuri is. Prease come.”

Toshiya didn’t need his son to say anything. He knew by the new bottles of medicine he found lying in a hidden cabinet in the kitchen. He knew by his son’s increasing periods of fatigue and drowsiness that became more frequent than he had seen him last. Although it may have probably been because of depression, he noticed that Yuuri had been periodically taking his anxiety pills. But he knew the difference when he looked into his son’s eyes. A normal person may not see the difference, but he likes to believe that he can feel it. He was a father, these things are unexplainable. 

Thankfully, Hiroko and Minako’s former friend had announced that they were arriving that day as well as Celestino and Yuuri’s rinkmate back in Detroit. So his wife had a lot of things to distract her at the moment. It would not be enough to calm her down completely. That was why he and Victor volunteered to look for the 23 year old. That was why he is currently sitting in the inn’s truck outside of Hasetsu’s hospital.

  
  


A little half past one in the afternoon, Victor came emerging with Yuuri from the hospital doors, an arm wrapped around the younger protectively. Yuuri had apparently fallen asleep after crying and the doctors had him stay for an additional five hours for observation after he stumbled in the er. 

He could see the confusion and alarm in Yuuri’s face when he realized that his father was also there, but there was also relief in his eyes. His eyes looked puffy, obviously he had just awoken a few minutes prior. Actually, Victor’s eyes were puffy too. He understood, but he needed to know. He may have had a gist of Yuuri’s secret diagnosis, but he wanted to confirm it. He just hoped that his son trusted him enough.

“Hey, tou-san.”

“It’s okay Yuuri. But you had me worried.” He smiled tenderly at his son. “Get in son. You’ve been through enough already.”

Yuuri will tell them in his own time.

  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  


Yuuri tried not to freeze at the doorway when he saw a very familiar suitcase, scratch that, make it two and a half familiar suitcases in the entrance when he got home, he really did. But the problem is, there is only one person in the world that he knew who would put an atrocious amount of stickers of airplane riding hamsters on an obnoxious neon green mini-suitcase with a larger one of the same quality, of not more. 

"Oh no."

"Phichit is here."

"What's a Phichit?"

"Hi I'm the Phichit!" Someone yelled from behind the two skaters. “Yuuri! And wait is this VICTOR NIKIFOROV? What is he doing here Yuuri?!”

“I should ask the same! Why are you and Coach Celestino here?”

“That part is irrelevant! We have more pressing matters here!” He accidentally takes Yuuri by his bandages hand where the IV was inserted earlier. It didn’t hurt too much, but there was enough sting to make Yuuri yelp, which alarmed Phichit.

“Oh my god I’m sorry Yuuri did I hurt you? Wait, why do you have that kind of bandage.” Phichit could not be considered an overly observant person. He would rather wear his heart on his neck wrapped around his neck with a golden lace. But living with the older skater in their apartment (since dorms absolutely refused to let in pets, and Yuuri was searching for a roommate that time), the Thai learned how to somewhat read the Japanese who refuses to be open.

So yes, Phichit glared at the cotton taped with medical gauze on his friend’s hand. He smelled his own hand and there it was, the faint smell of antiseptic. 

“Did you scrape yourself?” He asked questioningly.

Yuuri, who was in the middle of a rising panic attack thought that Phichit made the connection that he actually came from the hospital, sighed in relief that that was not the case.

“Uhh… yeah, I scratched it.” Yuuri lied through his teeth. Why did he forget to take the bandage off. Stupid. He seemed to forget a lot of things today. He thought that Phichit had enough questions and he would shove it aside. But no, the gossip side of Phichit has now taken over.

“When?”

“Uhmm… this morning?”

“From?”

“A sharp object?”

"Hah! Obviously."

Although the other was clearly shorter, Phichit showed dominance by glaring at Yuuri’s eyes, something that always made the other uncomfortable. He avoided his friend’s gaze and instead, looking at the exit, ready to bolt any time.

“Don’t play coy with me Yuuri. Your mom said you were missing this morning. Then your dad texted your mom earlier today to say where you’ve been. I know what you’ve been up to.” Phichit pressed further. And at this point, even Victor, who was beside Yuuri, had begun to sweat bullets.

“Do you have nothing to say for yourself?”

“I… Uhmm. Where is coach Celestino?”

Phchit however, still stared at him in a skeptical yet comical manner. "Whatever, he's in the dining hall. Probably with Minako or something."

"Minako-sensi is here?"

"Yeah. She said Mari didn't enter the competition. I don't know the details but something about being replaced by a squid."

Now, Yuuri still had no idea what was happening, but he didn't press any further, feeling a headache coming and he felt sleepier by the minute. 

Yuuri unconsciously let out a yawn and muttered to himself, "I'm sleepy." despite having slept more than an hour prior. 

Victor frowned at the statement. "Come on Yuuri we talked about this, right?" Meaning to say that he should not sleep after the long rest he had after his request. Now, when he first heard of this, Victor had initially refused, wanting Yuuri to get all the rest he needed. 

But after Yuuri admitted that he didn't want to sleep so often, afraid that he might get used to sleeping, maybe too much. The implication did not escape Victor. 

However, Yuuri may have picked up Victor's as a form of him reminding that he should talk to his family about his condition. But he was not nearly enough ready to tell everything, especially to his mother. He was glad that his father had been kind enough not to react much when he told the truth to them at in the truck earlier. Toshiya had been quiet, watching with unjudging eyes as his son stuttered through his confession before ultimately swore not to say a word to anyone else, even his own wife. He would be the one to lay it onto her. 

He was a little disappointed by the lack of reaction his father had. And although he was easily the calmest person in his family, not often seen showing his emotions, he knew that it took everything in his father not to break down with them. But, deep inside, Yuuri might have wanted to see his father react. 

Now, Phichit had developed a frown at his and Victor's sudden silence. 

"Okay. Maybe later." Yuuri answered, although with a different meaning, still answered the Russian's inquiry. 

Victor was supposed to follow the other's retreating figure before Phichit grabbed his arm. 

"Uhmm…" The Thai skater started, unsure how to start the conversation. 

Victor, ever the understanding one, just stood there patiently in silence. Waiting for the younger to speak. And despite his efforts to look approachable, Phichit was actually intimidated by the living legend. 

He pushed his fears however, having another fear overpower the latter. That fear being left in the dark over his best friend's situation. The young skater was not a private person by a long shot, fueled by his insecurities and fears, he always strived for the truth and an explanation. 

"Yuuri is dying isn't he?" Phichit bluntly said after looking around and making sure no one was near to listen, startling Victor. His eyes went wide and his mouth slightly opened. 

"How did… "

"This wasn't the first time it happened. He admitted himself to the hospital right?" 

Victor noded, not trusting his voice at the moment. 

"This wasn't the first time he admitted himself to the hospital, nor was it the first time someone told him he may die. He had always known what was in store for him. He even omits two months from his countdown because he says that living in a hospital bed is not living. Also, he always told me what was happening to him. He knows that I have an issue with being lied to, and that I get anxious whenever someone lies to me especially when I could easily tell when one is most likely lying. I pressed Ciao-ciao for answers until finally admitting it."

"What do you mean someone told him he may die?"

"Exactly what it is." Phichit released a heavy sigh

Truth is. Victor knew what it felt like being left alone in the dark, not knowing anything because they think he can’t handle the truth. And it pains Victor to be the source of this for another person.

“I’m sorry Phichit. I’m not the person who should be telling you this.”

“I know. But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”

Their conversation fell into an uncomfortable silence as Phichit let go of Victor’s arm. The Thai still refused to look at the taller man, looking at his feet, tapping the ground ever so slightly. Victor cou;d see the slight tremble of his hunched shoulders, he was definitely stopping himself from either breaking down or exploding in anger.

The silence was broken by Yuuri shouting loudly from the distance, “OH MY GOD MAKKACHIN NOOO!!! THAT IS NOT FOOD!”

“Woof!”

For the life of him, Victor could not stop himself from giggling. And it seems his new companion couldn’t too. He wiped his invisible tears and put on a huge smile. 

“That Yuuri” he sighed before continuing, “I saw you holding hands with Yuuri earlier. Hoo? What’s up with that?” He teased the taller man.

“To be honest? I don’t really know myself.” He admitted, slightly blushing, which the younger was shocked with. Never in his wildest dreams could he have thought that he would one day see the living legend blush. And because of his best friend nonetheless.

“It’s a recent development.”

From the amount of blushing the man was doing by the second, Phichit was sure that it wasn’t.

  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  


Lilia and Yuri Plisetsky came that evening, much to the shock of Celestino, Phichit and Yuuri. Actually, there was a series of shocks that happened that momentarily pushed Yuuri’s imminent situation aside. And honestly, Phichit was just happy to be with his best friend. The amount of gossip and Instagram worthy news and shots just came with it.

Because apparently, Yuuri had not been telling him a LOT of things for the longest time. Like, the gravity and amount was so large that Phichit was sure his jaw dropped to the ground and would be staying that way for the next few hours. He’s almost convinced that some higher being had the shittiest day and decided to fuck his “life script” or something. Yuuri in all his anxiety and self-deprecation was actually surrounded with literal celebrities. And apparently, he could be considered a celebrity himself. He actually made a list of the facts that were bombed on him. Because holy shit, Celestino knew this?! 

  1. Yuuri has met legendary Bolshoi Prima Ballerina Lilia Baranovskaya.
  2. His mother was acquaintances (oh they were definitely friends in Phichit’s headcanon mindspace) with said ballerina
  3. Yuuri was trained by also extraordinary ballerina, Minako Okukawa, and she had trained for the bolshoi for three years, again by said legendary ballerina. 
  4. Victor was also trained by her, but she gave up on him, stating he was a giraffe. 
  5. Oh and Yuuri apparently was rich after investing in a water bottle company with the money he got from starring in more than twenty advertisements when he was a kid. 



"This is so fun it's kind of like a reunion. But a reunion where we didn't know we all knew each other till we met." Victor joked at his place by Yuuri's side during dinner. The Katsuki family closed shop earlier. The husband and wife, who usually eats separately, had joined the tables at the dining hall to create a long table, leaving only three vacant for any other occupants of the inn who would like to stay there. 

"Leave me out of this old man, I don't know any of you aside from madam here." Yuri said in Russian from the other corner of the table beside Lilia, eyeing the bowl of Katsudon warrily. 

"What do you mean you don't know any of us? You were the one who showed me Yuuri's YouTube before." Victor kindly answered back in English with a smile, all the while pointing proudly at a blushing Yuuri

Yuri made a garbled sound like a cross between growling cat and a dying horse. "Ahh that's… Wait no way!"

"Oh my God why didn't you say anything about knowing that channel from my dark past!"

"What do you mean 'dark past'? I've seen Victor skate in his emo phase and I'm telling you that is no way dark!" Yuri exclaimed doing wild hand gestures to accentuate his point literally accross the table. "I love how you literally look like the equivalent of a classical rock artist in your covers and look like a Prince in the rest!"

Yuuri burried his hands in his hands while Phichit, who was sitting on his other side next to a laughing Celestino, patted him on the back, laughing. "Oh look you have another fan Yuuri!"

"Shut up Phichit!"

Instead of doing as requested though, he turned to the youngest occupant of the room and flashed a devious grin. "Forgive this bundle of nerves. What he mean was he's flattered that you like his videos and that he's overjoyed that you showed it to Victor and now he gets to meet the object of all his wall pos---"

Before he could finish, Yuuri placed both of his hands on his friend's mouth. 

Victor, who had known about them from Mari and accidentally seen the posters in Yuuri's room in one of their practice sessions looked away and tried not to hysterically laugh at the friends and the jumpy teenager sitting five seats away from them. 

"Don't worry Yuuri, Victor knows about them already." Mari interjected, placing their bowls in front of them, laughing at her brother who was slowly turning into a tomato, burrying his face further into his arms with a dejected "nooooooo", which Victor found extremely cute. 

"And who's the blond kid that looks like Takao-chan from my favorite band?" She whispered into Victor's ear, which was useless because the others could still hear her. 

"The name's Yuri Plisetsky." The blond gruffly answered. 

"That's too confusing! Ok from now on we'll call you Yurio!" She exclaimed excitedly to which Lilia had to physically hold his arm to prevent him from attacking the woman. 

"Nice to see you're still lively Mari. Where is Minako?" Mari's eyebrow twitched as Lilia pronounced her name as Mary, but held everything else back, not wanting to talk back to Minako's old ballet instructor. And from the calls she had been recieving from the times she danced in the Bolshoi, she had thanked the Gods she decided to stick with pole dancing instead. 

"Ahaha. She kind of went home today after we came back. She's either at her bar or her studio/apartment." She lied, because Minako definitely---

"She was definitely running away from Lilia." Victor stated as if he could read her thoughts. So much for trying to save her. 

So Mari pinched Victor from behind. The Silver-haired Russian yelled from the sudden pain stimulation. "Mariii~"

"Victooooor~"

Beside the hurt man-baby, Yuuri let out a sweet laugh after recovering from the embarrassment. 

"You're right Victor. But I personally think this is qlike a big family dinner."

And to every occupant of the table, it was.

"I still don't know most of you though. Not to disrespect." Yurio said, nodding respectfully towards the japanese couple across him.

After the introductions and dinner, the rest of the night was dedicated to catching up and mindless chatter. Yuri, at some point just laid down on the floor and started snoring, which prompted the gentle Japanese mother to accompany her Russiannguests and make sure they settle in. While the rest of the adults, exclusing Yuuri were a little tipsy by the end of the night. 

Hiroko assisted her husband and daughter while Yuuri assisted his… Friend? Unofficial boyfriend? To his room, leaving a sulking Celestino and a giddy, totally not drunk and underage Phichit to their own devices, which may have proved to be a bad decision. Thankfully the door(s) they bumped into was not made of paper. 

"Come on Victor don't sleep in your day clothes. Change into something else." Yuuri insisted to Victor who just went straight to his bed. 

During weeks following his first entry to the room, Yuuri had now entered often. Sometimes he entered to wake him up (who knew waking Victor up would be hard that you sometimes need to pull him by the feet), sometimes just to hang out. But majority of the times he entered the room was when an idea strikes with their composition. He would literally barge in the room and jump on the bed, place earphones in Victor's ears then plays his idea on a piano app on his phone. To which Victor groggily nods to most of the time, and on some occasions, wakes up completely from the brilliance of the idea. 

Yuuri was bow familiar enough with the room to know where Victor keeps his clothes, so he hands out a shirt and some shorts to the slightly drunk man. Scratch that, he was ABOUT TO hand them before Victor was taking off his shirt before him. 

"Haaah Victor what are you doing?!"

Victor looked innocently at Yuuri, not comprehending why was the man flustered. Surely he had seen him fully naked before. And fifty percent of the times he barged in the room, he was half naked too. 

"I sleep shirtless remember?" Victor in his drunken gaze didn't realize the implications of his words. 

Yuuri turned another a heavy shade of red before he impromptly threw Victor's shorts in his face. 

"Hey Yuuri can you hand me some underwear."

"GET IT YOURSELF! I'M LEAVING!" But as Yuuri was about to leave, however, Victor grabbed Yuuri by the hand. 

"Wait. I'm just kidding. I… I need to… I need to kind of ask tou something." He suggested meekly, not meeting the other's eye. "Please stay?"

Yuuri nodded, sitting on the edge of Victor's bed. He watched as Victor struggled to form words, his mouth opened and closed several times before promptly closing them and made a pouty face. 

"Yes Victor? What do you want to tell me?"

Victor shyly looked in Yuuri's eyes as he stared right back as if when they would stare at each other, they would find the answer they were looking for. 

"Yuuri… I… about earlier."

"Yes?"

"About earlier…" He looked away, a blush forming on his cheeks, seemingly not knowing what to do before saying, "Ah screw it." Then he pulled Yuuri in an embrace, wrapping his arms around his body. 

Victor, however, chose not to say a word, only tightening his embrace, burying his face into Yuuri's hair. 

"Just let me stay like this for a while. Please." 

Who was Yuuri to say no. So Yuuri leaned in the embrace, he placed an ear on his chest, listening in to his heartbeat. 

"Okay."

  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  


The next few days were busy for all of them. The family was busy with managing the onsen for the following one week festival celebration with Yuuri alternating between helping his family and his fellow skaters, to which Phichit accused him of showing off his ballet prowess and beautiful step sequences. Between practicing ballet and skating, the two Russian skaters buried themselves with practice at the ice castle where Yuuko religiously observed, her triplets popping in with her husband from time-to-time. And Celestino, taking advantage of having Minako nearby, had Phichit suffer the horrors and benefit from the beauty of ballet, far away from the eyes of the stern Prima, who was busy observing the other two's progress. Which was completely fine because apparently, Minako was more than enough. 

"AN EPELEPTIC SEAL HAS MORE GRACE THAN YOU! MOVE THOSE FEET! SWAY THOSE HIPS! YOUR HANDS ARE NOT FLEXING ENOUGH! ARE YOU DANCING OR ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE?!"

Neither Yuri Nor Victor was safe either. Getting on a schedule with Minako and taking over her dance studio for three days a week working on their flexibility, which from time to time, even Victor had trouble with, resulting in impossible flexibility exercises that made his muscles sore. Now Yuri was actually very flexible. He is easily the most flexible one of the four skaters, but he had the emotional capacity of a fish.

That is why you would now see the four skaters currently relaxing in the Katsuki's living room, too exhausted from the past days.

Phichit cried into Yuuri's arm that night. "Yuuri! How did you survive her? She's horrible."

"Well do you want to experience learning under her teacher? She's a whole nother level of horrible." Yuri whispered, burnt out from practice as well, lying against his back on the cold wooden floor.

“Do you want a blanket there Yuri? I don’t want you catching a cold.” Yuuri offered, preparing to get one but Yuri just gave a short thank you and shook him off.

“Hey, where were you during hell practice?” Victor askes, equally burned out and lying on the floor, his head on Yuuri’s lap. If Phichit noticed their position, he would have teased the two, but he was currently too tired to care.

“I was busy with stuff.”

“Did you get a cold? I heard your mom say you were in your room the whole time the other day.”

Yuuri shook his head as a no, combing victor hair with his fingers. 

“Tell you what you three. I’ll talk with the coaches to let you come with me to the festival tomorrow night. Tomorrow is the last day of the night stalls.”

The two younger skaters brightened up at the idea, even Victor stood up from his relaxed state, beaming at Yuuri’s suggestion. 

“You mean like the festivals that are seen in anime!? You’re taking us Yuuri?” Phichit rapid fired, fatigue long forgotten.

  
  


“If the coaches agree, then yes.” Facing the coaches are worth it.

Yuuri then told the three tired yet excited skaters to turn in for the night and get as much sleep as they can for tomorrow, to which they complied with little reluctance. After that, he went straight to the dining hall, where he was sure the coaches were currently at. And true to his speculation, the two were indeed there. 

“Oh Yuuri, perfect timing. I just got hold of coach Yakov and told him that the JSF approved of your little project.” Celestino chirped, placing his phone down on the table. “Everything is all set for next week Yuuri. This is amazing.”

Lilia who was sitting across him with a cup of hot tea nodded approvingly. “I agree. This is nothing short of inspiring, what you are trying to do Katsuki.”

Yuuri sat beside the two and meekly nodded. “Not at all madam. I was given the opportunity. It would be wrong of me to refuse. I just wanted to help.”

“Perhaps. But it would also be wrong not to give credit where it’s due. This is a noble act that only few of us could do. I am glad to be part of it.” Lilia smiled at the young man warmly. She felt a myriad of emotions overwhelm her. “I mean it Kasuki.”

Yuuri could only nod. Then he remembered the real reason he came to them that evening. “Oh, actually, I want to ask if you’d allow us to go to the festival tomorrow. Oh you’re also welcome to join us if you want. But only if you want to. I mean if you allow us too.”

Laughing at Yuuri’s panicked expression, the two immediately said yes before explaining the terms they would need to impose however. But Yuuri thought it was completely fine. Because he was too excited himself. He was excited to create new memories.

  
  
  
  
  


…..

  
  
  
  
  


The past days may have been a blur, but it was all washed away, and his life was suddenly painted in high definition by the bright lights of the festival, the smoky and sweet scent of the clashing festival foods which half he can’t even eat, and the warm hand that was tightly holding his hand. The two had been separated from the entire group consisting of the foreigners and Mari with the Nishigori couple after exploring the whole festival with exuberant joy. Two hours in, Yuuri had requested to be left alone as he sat down on one of the benches available away from all the activity. Victor, who absolutely refused to leave Yuuri’s side, insisted that they continue enjoying without them, to which the rest of the group reluctantly agreed, sending worried glances to Yuuri who brushed them off with a warm smile.

“You want some water?” Victor asked in concern, wondering if someone nearby was selling bottled water.

“It’s alright. I don’t think anyone is selling bottled water around here anyway.”

“What? Why?”

“There’s a drinking fountain not far from here if you’re thirsty though. Come on I’ll bring you there.” Yuuri was hit by a dizzy spell as he stood up. 

“Yuuri!” Victor was beside him in an instant before, holding him tightly. Yuuri held his head and closed his eyes to even out his sight. “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright. Just a dizzy spell, don’t worry.” Because he really was. Dizzy spells are not uncommon to him. “How can I not be okay? I haven’t been this happy in months.”

And it was true. That day in the hospital, Yuuri had thought a lot about his life, the amount of things he would miss if he continued to let himself only feel miserable, lying and enclosing himself in his own safe bubble. Because when Victor came, suddenly, the future became bright. Suddenly, he found himself smiling more than usual. Victor’s antics, his laughs, the way he plays, the way he skates, the way he earnestly tries to learn everything he can even when he was at the point of being culturally shocked.

“Come on, I want to show you something.” Yuuri took Victor by the hand, clasping it tightly in his much smaller one. 

Victor stared at Yuuri’s back as they walked. He was now painfully aware at how small the other man was. Hiroko had gathered a few Yukatas she could find and let all of them choose to wear for that evening. Victor had chosen one of Nishigori’s old Yukatas. It was a light green with a blue gradient at the end and was covered with camelia line arts. Yuuri Wore a dark blue Yukata with geometric flower patterns that seemed a little large for him. The unforgiving years of treatment and sacrifice had not been kind to him, and it was made evident to Victor’s own eyes. No wonder why the others had looked concerned.

The two continued to walk for a few more seconds before coming to a winding and well lit staircase that was surprisingly almost void of people.

“There’s a faucet atop this hill near the temple if you’re thirsty. I also want to show you the temple, come on.”

“Yuuri wait.” He grabbed Yuuri’s arm. “I wanted water for you. Not me. And no way will I let you walk that high up by yourself while you're tired, come on, I’ll carry you up.”

Yuuri sputtered in response, his face red and flustered by the embarrassing gesture.

“No way Victor are you crazy?! Then you’ll be tired!”

“I’m an athlete Yuuri. I can carry you. Besides, I always wanted to try it on my boyfriend.”

“Wha?! Boyfriend---”

“Come on! Hop on Yuuri!” A few seconds later, Yuuri found himself burying his face in Victor’s broad back in embarrassment as he carried him on his back up the hill.

“I’m walking by myself on the way down.” He proclaimed, the other laughing at him.

“You’re too cute Yuuri!”

“Ughh… shut up and walk!”

On their way up, Victor asked what kind of temple was sitting on top of the hill. Yuuri explained that it was a temple to the sea spirits that watched over the seas of Hasetsu, he also explained that the temple served a second purpose. He said that the temple was built on the exact same location as the first inhabitants of the island to which Victor surprised him by asking if it was about the fisherman and the sea spirit. Yuuri confirmed that it was much to Victor’s amazement.

“Were here Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed once they reached the top.

It was beautiful. They could see the stretching town of Hasetsu. They could see the base of the castle’s mountain, the onsen, the sea, and the market area. It was breathtaking. Victor closed his eyes, inhaling a huge breath of fresh air.

“It’s beautiful yuuri. Thank you for showing me this. For showing me your world.” He reached for Yuuri’s hand once again, squeezing it as Yuuri leaned his head on his shoulder.

“I wish I could see yours though.” Yuuri sighed defeatedly. Victor bit his lip. 

“I want to tell you something Victor. I actually planned a fundraiser a few months ago. I proposed it to the JSF and told them it would be my last act as a skater before retiring when they asked me if I wanted anything from them. I told them I’m tired and I just want help with being able to help others. I regret not winning any gold medals for the country in my senior year though.” He let out an airy laugh. “It’s going to be an ice show. The tickets are going to a children’s hospital that treats cancer patients. I wouldn't have thought about it without Celestino and the JSF’s help. So, I guess, what I’m saying is, can you take part of it? I already asked Lilia to ask coach Yakov for his approval, so now the decision is entirely up to you.”

“Yuuri! I’m honoured. Of course I will.‘‘ He whispered before facing Yuuri. He cupped his face and touched foreheads. 

“You’re so amazing! He praised Yuuri.” They pulled away and Victor’s brows furrowed. “But wait, are you skating too?”

Yuuri looked down to his feet. “I’m not sure. I wish I can but---”

“Shhh… No negative thoughts. Yuuri, do you WANT to skate?” Victor starred in his eyes, encouraging a resolve in Yuuri.

The Japanese teared up as his lip trembled. “Yes. of course I do. With all my heart! I want to skate! But I can’t!”

“Is it because of your...”

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t think I can do it Victor.”

“Yes you can! If you want to skate then skate Yuuri. I’ll make sure you do even if I have to carry you on the ice.”

“But Victor I---”

“No buts. You’re doing this Yuuri. You can do it. I believe in you. And I am so proud of everything you do Yuuri. My love.”

Yuuri could not stop himself from giving Victor a hug, which he returned. “Thank you Victor.” He whispered. “Thank you.”

  
  
  


Four months left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College classes stared again now so the last chapter might be posted two weeks from now. So sorry in advance. Also, if it isn't a bother, can you please share the story? You'd make me really happy if you do! thanks in advance. Criticisms are welcome. and if you find anything you would like to point out please feel free to comment down below! Thanks a bunch!
> 
> Next chapter is sure to be more emotional this one. I hope I do the story justice!
> 
> I have a tumbr of the same name!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it!


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